As quiet, introverted Evelyn Berman agrees to spend her sixth year studying at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and Wizardry, she is introduced to the school's adored Marauders.
From the moment she meets Sirius Black, there's something about the boy t...
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The winter holiday seemed to zoom past just as fast as it had crept up on Evelyn, and by the time she knew it, she was back at Hogwarts, going about her usual routine.
Spending Christmas back home had kept her mind occupied enough to mask the emptiness she had been feeling since that night with the boggart— family time, sugar cookies, and presents work as excellent diversions— alas, the effects had only been temporary, and as the spirit of the holiday died down, the emotions that had been blocked out came racing to the forefront of her mind once more.
The most terrifying part was that Evelyn still had not been able to understand what it was that she was feeling. That emptiness that resided in her was so different from anything she had ever experienced before.
Was it sadness? Sadness came with it, that was for sure, but it felt more like a side effect.
Perhaps it was anxiety? No... she had felt that her whole life, this was different. This was stronger.
Loneliness? This was the closest Evelyn could get to explaining how she felt. She felt lonely, like something—someone—was missing from her life. But, how could that be? How could she feel lonely when she had so many people who cared about her? Her family had always been there for her whenever she needed them. She had loving friends who checked up on her and made her laugh. She spent classes, meals, and almost all of her free time with them— she even slept in the same room as one of them for Merlin's sake! She constantly had someone with her, someone who loved her and cared for her, so how could she possibly feel alone?
It was maddening, not being able to grasp the meaning of the hollowness, and the constant worry consumed every inch of Evelyn. It was exhausting and only caused her mood to plummet farther downhill.
Holly had, no doubt, picked up on Evelyn's worsening mental state and shared her concerns with Lily and Marlene; the girls had been much more attentive to her in the past few weeks following the holiday. As much as Evelyn wanted to be grateful for her friends and the interest they had in her wellbeing, she found her self becoming aggravated by their endless attempts to console her. It was wrong and selfish to see it like that, she knew that, but she could not stop herself from feeling that way. It was as if something had taken over her, something so negative and hateful— so incredibly different from her usual personality. Some nights she would resort to cooping herself up in the library simply to keep from lashing out on her friends who were just trying to be kind.
That was why, on the first Saturday night of February, she found herself, companionless, nestled into a dusty armchair in the far back corner of the school library, concealing herself behind her bulky Care of Magical Creatures textbook.
The Gryffindors were throwing yet another party tonight, and Lily had stopped by earlier in the afternoon to invite—or more like beg— Evelyn to come, but she quickly denied. Lily looked disappointed, but unsurprised at Evelyn's rejection as her self-isolation had become a common occurrence recently.
