IT'S COMPLICATED

LETTER ME SURPRISED!

Breathe in. Breathe out. It's okay. Everything is fine. That's your horrible past, your present is beautiful. I tell myself.

'Anna! Are you okay?' James quickly jumps upright and exclaims.  I am gasping for breath. Everything is spinning. My head is pounding. I try to nod but my head spins too fast, my ears start ringing. It's too hard for me to keep my eyes open any longer. I clutch on to the comforter but the increasingly excruciating pain just levels up by a millionth percentage. I try to turn my head to look at James who is rubbing my back and continuously touching my forehead to check if I am running temperature. I was able to catch a glimpse of James who is on the verge of crying before everything goes black.

I feel light hitting my face. My eyes slowly flutter open. I see a tall and lean figure standing in front of the big glass window of the bedroom. 

'James?' I call. He jumps and turns around to face me. 

He sucks in his breath. 'I did not mean to wake you up' James's tone is seemingly miserable. He quickly drops down to sit by me. He tucks in a lock of hair in front of my face behind my ear. 

'You had me worried there Ann!' He caresses my cheeks. He takes my hand and puts it over his chest, I can feel his heart beating, 'This is yours, this breaks when I see you like this' He says softly. I can sense the sadness in this voice. Few teardrops fall from his eyes. I take his face in my hands and wipe them. I place a small kiss on his lips, he kisses my forehead and hugs me tightly. 

'Never leave me' I can tell he is sobbing.

'I won't' I say.

'Annie!' Zoe bursts into the room and almost runs to me. 'James, let me have a talk with my to-be sister in law!' James does not move he is still looking between overly dressed Zoe who is clad in glitter and faux fur and me. 'James have you gone bloody blind or to you need a good old wedgie to make you move!' She yells at James. 'Wedgie to make you move' James mimics Zoe and leaves the room. She drops down beside and asks, 'What happened?' 

'I had a bad dream' I reply. I try my best not to break out into a sob.

'No way am I believing that! You had a frigging anxiety attack! Someting must have triggered it' She says. She looks directly into my eyes as if she is trying to uncover the cause of my anxiety attack and its terrifying!

'Nope. Nothing.' I lie.

'Okay' There is a long pause.

'What time is it?' I ask Zoe.

'Almost nine thirty. Why do you ask?'

I realise. 'Oh my god! I am late for work!' I quickly get up from my bed and my head spins. I immediate fall back on my pillow. 

'Anna! Don't even think about it! James has already called up Amelia and told her you won't be coming in today because of your health, Sweety take a break, you work way too much' Zoe tells me.

'Speaking of work, I am running late. Brian must be off his bloody rockers right now wondering why I haven't yet set foot on set. Too much work today for me!' Zoe sighs.

'Who's coming in today? Someone famous?' I ask.

'Yup, Apparently Kendall Jenner is coming in today. Not for a shoot but for showing me how edit photos. Meaning how to photoshop her size zero waist to a size zero point five waist' She huffs.

I laugh.

'Okay. Bye! I'll be back in the evening to check on your health' Zoe slings her bag over her shoulder and before I can say bye she is out the door.

Why did a dream of my past memories cause me so much pain now? It was not a happy one I admit but why does it still hold so much control over me? All of that is in the past and I am way ahead working my ass off to make my dreams of becoming an established author come true and living happily with James. Will and Brooklyn are my past that I don't want to revisit.

'Anna?' James knocks on my door.

'Come in' I say.

My eyes direct to a beautiful large bouquet of pink, red and yellow tulips with a teddy holding an envelope in the middle of the extravaganza.

'Oh my God! James! You didn't have to do this, it was a small anxiety attack! Nothing huge that you would buy me a huge bouquet! How much did it cost?' I ask him so many questions all together.

'Except I didn't do any of it. I found this at our doorstep.' James looks puzzled holding it.

He brings the bouquet to me and sets it down on my lap. I pull out the envelope and start reading.

Dear Anna,

I am sorry for whatever I did that night. I did not mean to overstep. I apologize for all my mistakes and whatever I have done to you in the past. Don't ignore me like this. Please return my calls. Get Well Soon. May you and James find happiness in your lives. May he give you whatever I couldn't.
Once again Get Well Soon Annie Bunny.
L̶o̶v̶e̶ Yours lovingly, Will

Oh no. My breathing stops for a second. How did he get to know about James?

'Well who is it?' James asks sitting opposite to me.

I quickly fold up the paper and reply, 'Oh it's Amelia'

James smiles, 'Such a good mentor she is'

Ding Dong.

'Are we expecting someone?' I ask.

'Not that I know of' James replies.

James gets up to see who it is. I hear the creaking of the door and a man speaking.

The bedroom door creaks open.

'Anna?'

'Will?' I gasp.