Darkness Within

Second Best

*There is a character in this chapter that is dealt with differently than in the movie and I'm fully aware*

"Sit there," Kylo orders as he stalks around the room and she stares at his boots as they thud on the floor, his shoulders pulled tight from stress and his jaw clenched. "Rey," he says again and her eyes flick up to his which bore holes into her.

Rey rolls her eyes, annoyed by his moodiness since they returned back to the destroyer and she woke up in bed after their morning exploring the base. The metal is cold through her pants, but she sits as he demanded, crossing her legs over each other and watching him apprehensively.

Kylo undoes his overcoat slowly, his eyes trained on a random spot on the floor in front of him, his jaw shifting as he thinks. Shrugging the coat off, he throws it to the side, leaving it in a heap on the floor below the hook and turns to Rey while rolling his sleeves up his broad forearms.

"We need to deal with your aversion to the dark side," he growls and begins pacing around her in a circle.

"My aversion?" Rey counters, her voice trained and level.

"You're too quick to run back to the light," he specifies and takes a moment to read her thoughts with little effort. "Which you find ironic because of how much you alarmed Luke by your quick draw to the dark."

"Get out of my head," she hisses at him, grimacing as she locates his presence and pushes back.

"How did it feel Rey? To spend your whole life waiting for people who abandoned you to come back?"

"They abandoned me because they cared for me. They were trying to protect me," Rey argues, her eyes squinted at Kylo as he ruffles his unruly hair on his head.

"If that's what you wish to believe," he chuckles and Rey watches his slow, steady steps as he walks in front of her again. "What about your grandfather? The only family you have left. Ordering me to kill you."

"Why don't you then?" Rey snaps at him, her eyes narrowed still.

"Because I'm all you have left," he squats down in front of her, making it impossible for her to ignore him as he stares her down. "Close your eyes," he whispers, only inches from her face and Rey obeys, her eyelashes flitting shut to rest on her cheeks.

The presence of Kylo in her head is prominent, but she doesn't push back against him, instead allowing herself to open to be open to the process he has in mind. He combs through her memories as if they're organized in perfectly labeled file folders and he knows exactly which one he's looking for.

"All those nights, those hot days, alone," he whispers, a low growl still present in his voice. "Only the sound of the wind kicking the sand up against the metal sides of your scavenged shack as you ate the slowly dwindling rations you worked so hard to earn, to barely make it by day by day."

Rey's shoulders relax as memories of her childhood run through her head, a small girl just trying to survive in the desert alone from a young age.

"The fear," he says, a smile present in his tone. "You look up at her, the old woman, her life spent, wasted really, in the wasteland that is Jakku. You see yourself in her, a lifetime of grueling work for little pay, struggling to survive despite the odds working against you at every turn."

Rey feels a tear slip out of her still closed eyes, leaving a wet trail down her soft pinked skin as her hands clench slightly where they rest on her knees.

"Han solo," Kylo mutters with a tone of distaste. "The momentary father figure you so quickly latched onto, despite his aversion to your clear idolization as you tried to fill the hole that your parents created."