Stranded | Enemies to Forbidden Lovers ✔️

Chapter 21

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Chapter 21

He didn't push me away.

He didn't yell.

He didn't stop the act of my lips touching his.

His lips stayed still as if he was a corpse. Unmoving, unfeeling as if I weren't there. He's a warm corpse with soft, supple lips. Lips I've wanted to kiss since the night of his birthday. Lips I stared at for hours while he slept. I wonder if he's done the same. Thought of us, in a romantic matter.

Probably not.

When my lips separated from his. Joseph stood up, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shelter that was once Finn's. A shelter made up of four walls, sturdy enough to withstand the tropic storm. A place with a mattress, chairs, a table, and cans of food. Enough if we ration correctly, would last of a few years.

I sit on the chair, I take note of every movement he makes. Slow, as if he's trying not to make too loud of a noise. It's eerie watching him move like this, like a robot. He's making sure not to disturb the peace that we've created. The peace that I alone have ruined by my stupidity and brashness. I should have stayed away, recluded to just crying in his arms. That would have been enough for me. His arms surrounding me with comfort.

But instead, I kissed him and he now knows I like him, that I'm attracted to him. That I want him.

Joseph continues to remain silent while my mind is flooded with a series of questions. Questions that doesn't involve the trauma of almost dying. I can only think of one thing, and it's Joseph and his dead lips touching mine. Unmoving, yet it was enough to confirm my feelings fo him.

He looks through a makeshift basket filled with clothing. I can't tell if they're clean or dirty. Everything is brown, the color they once had is gone or faded for what I imagine, the years of storms, washing, and mud from the island. Joseph lifts a shirt and inspects it. It's long, long enough that it could function as a dress for a person my size. There are holes in places that don't bother me. "I think this is alright." He extends his hand. I can't help but look at his bloodied knuckles, touching him was nothing. We'd before today before the kiss would see each other's wounds. Touch one another's hair, and everywhere else if we wanted to.

I take his hand. He quickly moves it from my grasp.

I look up at him, he avoids my eyes. He's uncomfortable with me. He doesn't care to look me in the eyes.

He doesn't even hide it.

I shake my head, I shouldn't have kissed him. I should have continued to bury my feelings.

I ruined our mundane survivalist life. Our relationship, I was too greedy.

I can't stay here any longer.

I dash the door. I don't listen to the shouts coming from Joseph. It's still raining, but the large pelts of water do nothing to distract me from expanding the distance between us. I can't stay with him any longer. I have to get away from him.

The caves, I can stay there tonight. It's close, and I can get out of the rain. I can get away from the man that won't love me, the man that can't love me because he loves another.

Another woman that's not me.

I can survive on my own. He can survive on his own. He can have Finn's shelter. He can fish and set up snares. He'll be fine without me. He can live better without me. He will no longer have to deal with a child unable to control her emotions for a married man.

Joseph pulls my arm back. His head hangs low. He's soaked from the rain. When I stare at him, I notice how wet he truly is. "I'm sorry!" I yell. "I'm so sorry, so let me go so I can leave you alone!" I cry. "I shouldn't have kissed you."

He sucks in his breath and holds my hands. He looks down, I search his face for anything. Anything, a glimmer of him wanting this with me. Anything at all that shows I'm not crazy. That he does like me.

"Alice," he murmurs keeping his eyes anywhere but my face. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know."

I'm a liar, I know why I kissed him.

He holds my hands and runs a finger over my knuckles. Slowly, I feel his heat in this cold rain. It warms me more than any fireplace could. Better than any cup of hot cocoa in the coldest of nights.

I wish I didn't love this man. I wish he was like everyone else, giving me minimum attention. Keeping our conversation light, never delving too deep into who I really am. I wish he never asked me questions about things I cared about. I wish he wasn't such a good listener. It would be much easier if he didn't watch me speak as if he really cared about what I'm saying.

It would be a lot easier to stop loving him. It'll make it easier for me not to want to kiss him right now.

I'm an idiot. A goddamn idiot if I kiss him again.

Joseph picks up his head and looks me in the eyes. I shouldn't, he's a man of his word. A committed man, that would never betray her. I hold his face in my palm. "You won't have to worry about me anymore."

His eyes widen when the words come out of my mouth. He lets my hand go and I turn my back.

This is fine.

Please don't make me leave you

Grab my arm and pull me close

Love me

Choose to be with me Joseph

"I'm a horrible man," he shouts.

I turn my head to look at him. He's already walking towards me before I can tell he's wrong. He's not a horrible man. He's a beautiful man who would do anything for someone he loves.

He's a caring, loving man who would risk his life for me.

Joseph presses his lips to mine. He holds my head and pulls me closer. It takes me a few seconds before I'm kissing him back. He doesn't give me time to think about our terrible decision that he will regret in the morning.

I don't want to think about all the wrongs and the what if's. I want this man next to me, to be with me in this shitty world that I was placed in.

I throw my arms around his neck and pull him in closer. He picks me up and my back hits a tree. The rain begins to subside and I feel the harsh sun on my skin. But that doesn't matter.

At this second, this moment I'm kissing Joseph and nothing will ruin that for me. I run my hands through his hair. I want to be closer to him. I want to feel more of him. As much of him as humanly possible.

His chest is bare, there's nothing stopping from touching it. I refuse to move my lips from his. A moment of his lips pressed to mine is utter hell.

I let him use me as his pleasure device. He's never too fast, just the right pace so it can last longer. I enjoy his touch, his tongue, his caress. It's something so familiar yet new with him.

Sex, which was once something that could be considered for me a means to not be alone. A physical outlet to combat my need for attention and my high libido.

Now, sex is different. It's something I do with the man I love.

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