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Chapter 33
He stands in front of me. He wasted no time to be here. No bags, not even a suit for me. Sweat pants, a white t-shirt, and wet hair. He's showered recently or at least wet his body to calm his nerves. I know he took a sip of alcohol, hell I've taken many since I called.
Joseph's usual suit that I've peeled off him countless times is now gone. This is a man who I've fallen for in his rawest form. A form that I don't have the pleasure of seeing every day like another.
"Alice," he starts.
I don't bother to say anything. I wanted to see him one more time before this ended. Before we ended our two-year affair. I move to the side to let him in. I fear the neighbors who probably knows about the worldwide phenomenon that is Joseph and Alice. He doesn't touch my body when he slides past me.
No cologne, that makes me sad almost. I won't be given the pleasure of a memory of that scent. A scent that enveloped my nose when he got close to me. It was one my favorite part about him, his scent. It would last all day. I blamed on the meticulous way he sprayed himself after he got dressed.
One squirt for both sides of his neck. One sprit on both wrists, followed by the cock of eyebrow and readjustment of his jacket. A routine I've seen him done enough times to be able to mimic it myself. The shaking of his leg to make sure his pants fit well enough, the folding of his cuffs.
The way I would stand in front of him and readjust his tie that was always off slightly.
He doesn't bother to sit. I want him to sit; sitting means staying longer. Sitting means that he plans on talking for a while. But instead, he stands there, quiet. He's never this quiet. I suppose there's nothing to say. Everything speaks for itself.
Veronica and Joseph are starting a family. A family that doesn't need a mistress. A whore, who sleeps with the husband twice a month.
"She's pregnant," I comment. Pregnant, a life half of him and half of her.
He stops breathing. His usual stagnant breathing is nowhere to be seen. "Yes, Veronica is pregnant. I've seen the blood work and the tests."
"How long? How long have you known?"
"A few days ago. Yesterday she got the blood work results."
Crushed, a million boulders fell on top of me and I'm struggling to stand in front of him. I reach for the water that sits on the table and take a sip. The water burns in my throat indicating it's no water at all. It's vodka and the strongest of kinds.
"And then she came to the hotel room and raised hell after," I inform him. She raised hell and flipped the life I shared with you upside down.
"I know. I'm sorry, Alice. I'm sorry she hit you. You didn't deserve that. I did."
I don't know why I did this to myself. Sleeping with a married man leads to nowhere. I would know, it's elementary something a kid could see. My father and his string of affairs always led to nowhere because he always went back to my mother at night for a time that is.
His illicit earlier affairs we filled with calls to the house and a silencing soon after.
But, foolishly. I thought that this would be different, that I would become something more soon. But now that I think about it. Isn't that always the case. You sleep together, then bliss soon after. A caress, a movie some small talk over food.
You think they want it forever that they will give everything up for you. But that's not the case.
You stay in the shadows with no hope of light.
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