Lavender

Chapter 15

he moved away from me in art and won't look at me in P.E. and it hurts every time...my grades have gone down in those subjects too because i would focus so much on him... i miss his touch, i miss his company, i miss his smile, and mine....i don't just know i miss him, i know i love him and i don't know what to do.

i'm currently sat in the livingroom at four in the morning with a cup of tea and a racing heart as the shadows begin to move around in front of me, the jab doc gave me yestirday is still having effects and these monsters won't go away, they don't seem to acknowlegde me, don't even seem to see me, but i see them and i'm scared that if they realise i see them, i'm dead. 

i take a breath and finish my tea, i can't sleep, i stopped being able to sleep from the first jab this week, i'm on the last day and i'm exhausted, but no matter how much i try, as soon as i lay down, i'm as wide awake as i would be if i was in a room with my Father when he's not beating me into unconciousness but is about to.

i stand up and walk back to the kitchen, still thinking about Lorrenzo, he ovoids me like the plague and i hate it, i hate the fact i destroyed something that was so fucking good to me....what if i don't get it back? yeah, he probably caused me shit by kissing me....but, i'd go through that shit if it ment being with him.

i go back to the livingroom and continue with a bit of revision which just turns into doodling as my mind still wants to glue it's self onto Lorrenzo... his smile is so perfect...the adorable face he has that can turn so serious and angry when threatened...he's so perfect and i ruind it, "How long have you been up?" my body jolts at the voice, i look up, seeing Lorrenzo there, i just stare at him.

"i'm sorry!" i whisper, my eyes welling with tears.....he spoke to me....he really spoke to me.

"yeah, me too!" he says, looking down, one of those monsters floats past me, making me jump, but i look around as if it's nothing, looking back to see it look away from me, i sigh, that was close, i look to a few others to make sure non of them have caught on to the fact i can see them, "you okay?" he asks and i look to him with a hum, only to see one right in my face, i scream and throw my hands up falling back, it grips me and i push it awya.

"GET OFF, GET OFF, GET OFF!" i scream, trying to push it off, i jump up and begin to race towards the front door, a herd on my tail when arms wrap around me.

"Hay, is this a night terror?" he whispers, i shake my head, i grab him and pull him into a cupboard.

"there everywhere, i don't know what they are but they float around like nothing's happening, they didn't know i could see them so they ignored me but now they seem to know!" i whisper like an insane person.

"when was the last time you got sleep, Milky?" he asks and i look up.

"sunday night, whatever shit he gave me, i don't know, but i'm an insomniac now!" i say and try to open the door, peeking through to see one float past....i wonder if i can jump scare a ghost......"BOO!" i shout and sevrel jolt in their place, i slam the door shut and look at him with the widest, most surpirsed eyes yet, before my jaw opens wide, "i just jump scared a ghost!" i breath out shakily, shakily because i'm trying not to laugh.

"you...scared a ghost by shouting boo?" he asks, "well, pay backs a bitch!" he sighs, "do you know when it'll wear off?" he asks and i laugh and shake my head.

"I feel really really really high!" i whisper so quietly.

"you look like you smoked like five happy joints!" he whispers back and i laugh and nod.

"I don't know what he gave me but i'm terrified!" i laugh and he sighs, opening the door, we walk out and i just look around, "i want some more tea!" i whisper and tip toe through the house to the kitchen, i poor some hot water into the cup and completely miss the cup, "wups!" i laugh and put the kettle down, laughing, i just keep laughing before i fall onto my backside and laugh some more.