Lavender

Chapter 27

so... we'er finally off of each other......we'll.... he's not inside me anymore i mean, i'm suffering from a bit of a tummy ache, but now me and Lozie are in the shower, we'er already clean, but right now we'er holding onto each other, enjoying the warmth from each other, "so-" he begins, i look up to him, "what happens if your pregnant? y'know, just thinking about all the possibilities!" he says, taking my hands, he pushes me out, lets go of one hand and pulls me back in, a dance move, now my back is to his chest, our hands together, however he's holding my hand across my stomach and the other one over my chest.

"what of it?" i ask, smiling to him softly, he leans down that bit to kiss me.

"what do you mean? do you want it if you are?" he asks carefully, i hear the hurt under his tone at what he's implying, but i push him away, turning and looking him dead in the eye, this is the first time since the start of my heat that we'er not actually touching and he shows visible uncomfort from it as his hand slowly reaches for me, well i'm uncomfortable too.

"don't be a fool!" i scold him, but hold his hand anyway, "why would you ask a question like that?" i ask, "i'm genuinly cross with you!" i confront him, as he pulls me back to his chest, "why? what would you do?" i ask slowly, slightly scared of the answer.

"what do you mean? if you were, i'd be so excited, i actually want to be a dad and i think you'd be an amazing mum!" he says softly and i smile, but it falls slowly.

"i wouldn't mind, but, i don't think i am!" i say and look up to him, he stops moving for a bit.

"what do you mean? you've got to give it time to kick off ant yh? we've practicaly been non stop for the best of a week!" he says, sounding a bit upset, i kiss his chest.

"i think, if i was, i'd have my head down the toilet!" i say to him, "this morning at least!" i laugh slightly, he just looks at me as if he's lost.

"but-but how? i've fucked you sensless for a week-" i laugh at this, "was it not good enough?" i stop laughing, i look up at him with a smile.

"it was perfect, absolutly perfect!" i say to him, cupping the side of his face, i reach up and kiss him softly, pulling back and looking at him.

"so, what? are-can-" he tries to word it, "are you actually able to have kids? i mean, you have heats and your Omega and you were perfectly fucking wet-" we laugh slightly, but i shrug, thinking.

"well i hope i am!" i say, "i was told i was!" i say, looking back to him, "but you have to remember that i was abused, put on a buch of different drugs and medications that probably weren't good for my body-" he lets out a long frustrated breath, "i'm sure we'll be okay, everything will be okay for us!" i say hopfully to him and he smiles, but theirs worry and sorrow in his eyes, "don't worry, i promise, you'll be a Father, you want it, i know you do and i also know you need an heir, i won't ruin that, and i bloody well won't let what my father did to me ruin anything for you!" i say firmly, i'll make this possible, i'm sure my body just needs time away from everything...i know, i'll go talk to the doc...i don't want Lorrenzo there though, if they tell me i'm not fertile i'd die and i'm sure it would break him, but we can adopt, yes, we will adopt if i can't.

i decided to wake up early, while Lorrenzo sleeps, i know he won't be waking up for hours, it's six in the morning, luckily my body wanted to wake up at this time, so, i'm going to visit the doctor. 

i make sure to block off my scent, leaving Devil in the bed for Lozie to cuddle up to while i'm away, it really hurts to be away from him right now, my heart feels like it's trying to drag me back to my room, "Milky!" i hear someone shout and i turn around to see a half dressed Lozie, "What are you doing? Where are you going?!" he asks in worry, walking up to me, i look down in slight shame.