angelic voice | CRB

8.) ruined love

Colby's POV

Rhyme and I had been sitting in my bed later that day ignoring a movie that was playing on my laptop. We were talking. Well, she was talking, about Coda and her family. She doesn't talk about Lyric that much but I don't ask questions, it's hard talking about someone who passed that you were close to. I was listening to her, admiring her.

Her short brown curls that sat right on her shoulders. Her tan skin. Her beautiful hazel eyes.

She looked gorgeous for not really doing anything. She wasn't dressed up she was comfortable. As she was talking to me a strand of hair fell into her face. I mindlessly pushed it behind her ear. I didn't realize what I had done until after I did it and she stared at me.

"I- sorry I didn't mean t-" I stutter

"It's okay." She giggled "I feel like I talk too much about myself. Let's talk about you for once."

"Well, shoot," I say

"I wanna know why you haven't been in a relationship in so long?" After I didn't say anything she quickly adds "I mean you don't have to answer if it was like some traumatizing shit then yo-"

"Rhy shut up. I can't tell you if you just keep talking." I laugh "well back when we lived in the trap house 1.0 I had a girlfriend. And I fell in love with her, I was head over heels for her. I just wanted to be around her all the time. I would ditch the guys to hang out with her. I would lose sleep for her. If she wanted to talk at 3 am I was there to talk which was like every night. I was in love with her. We were good for the first couple of months. She began to distance herself and I didn't know why. She would leave me on read for hours not text me. I would find out where she was from other people's stories on social media. She was almost always out with friends clearly on her phone while ignoring my calls. She came over one day and ended it. Told me I was clingy. She told me that I'm not enough. I didn't 'satisfy her needs'. It broke me I didn't come out of my room for weeks. She left me. And it hurt. I felt worthless. That breakup ruined love for me." Rhymes expression was sad. I could feel the pity radiating off her body. "I haven't been in a relationship since. Not because I don't want to but because I don't wanna force anything it'll happen when it happens and I'm completely okay with that. I'm happy now and that's all that matters." She smiles at my last words and brings me in for a hug.

"You didn't deserve that. You deserve so much more than that. What she did to you during and after that relationship was unhealthy." She pulled away from me and looked in my eyes. "She shouldn't have made you lose sleep, Colby." She placed her hand on my cheek.

"But I wanted to be there," I said

"I know Colby, I know, but you were there for her for through everything she went through and then she had the audacity to tell you 'you weren't enough' in my eyes Colby you were more than enough. Any girl would be lucky to be treated the way you treated her. She was unfair to you." She looked like she was going to cry and pulled me back into a hug.

"How could someone be so cruel to someone like you." She said in my arms as her hand traveled into my hair and the other rubbed my back.

What she said made me realize that that relationship was toxic and one-sided. Rhyme held me as I broke down at the realization. It's like all the pain from that time three years ago hit me at once. I cried for, I don't know how long, as Rhyme just told me I was okay.

"God I would never do that to you. Colby, I promise you I will never let another girl treat you like that." She said

I lied there my arms around her waist as hers were around my neck. My head rested on her chest and she was on her back.

"You deserve the world." She said.

Everything Rhyme was saying to me made me feel like I needed her so long ago and she wasn't there. I'm glad I met her. I'm glad she made me realize what I needed to. If Rhyme hadn't told me that I probably would have lived my life thinking I didn't need love. I probably would have pushed every girl I would ever have potentially anything with away. Although I didn't want some girl I might have potential with. I don't want an ex to love me the way she should have, the way I loved her.

I wanted someone to stand by me to show me what love is supposed to feel like. I wanted someone to comfort me when I needed it. I wanted someone to just talk to.

I wanted Rhyme.

She's saying all the right things to make me fall. Fall from this level of being okay with being lonely, of being single. Fall from my ways of pushing girls out of my life in fear of being broken all over again. Fall from telling people that I simply am not looking. Because I am. Or I was at least. I looked at every girl I met and tried to see if I could feel something that made me want to try again. Not one girl met that criteria. Until I met her. I was afraid to fall.

I didn't want to.

But I did.

I fell.

And I'm okay with it.

If this were me from one or two years ago or Hell maybe even six months ago I would have done everything in my power to push her away. To get her out of my life so I didn't have to fall in love again. To get my heart broken again. But rhyme was different. I was completely okay with falling in love with her. I just somehow knew she wasn't going to break my heart. No, she was going to fix it. Heal it.

Although rhyme reopened some old wounds today. She was going to properly heal them. Because I didn't before. I pushed my pain down and hid it, ignored it. For the longest time, I thought I was okay and she made me realize I wasn't. But with her by my side I know I'm going to be.

-
Date: aug.27.20
A/n
I'm happy with this chapter. Colby is ✨𝔀𝓱𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭✨
Sincerely,
Rey❤️