Blind Jealousy

This Feeling

*Small mentions of Panic Attacks/Mental Breakdown*
Shuichi POV~

I walked alongside Kaito as he continued to talk about how mysterious and deep space is, Maki mostly stayed quiet and clung onto Kaito, and Mui occasionally loudly chimed in with some mature joke. To be honest, I was quite bored. I didn't even want to come along, but I couldn't hurt anyone's feelings... oh! "Uh hey... Kaito?" I nervously stuttered "I left my book in the dining hall... I'm gonna run back and get it, ok?" I was flat out lying to him. Look how much Kokichi was rubbing off on me... "That's fine! We can all go-" "No!" I immediately protested, catching them all a bit off guard.
"I'm sorry, I'll get it quickly, you guys go ahead to the garden." "Oh," Kaito seemed to look at me a bit questionable, but in the end, he believed me. "Ok! Just head back quickly, I didn't even get to tell you about the milky way!" "Oh... yeah for sure.." I immediately turned back to the dining hall and started down the hallway. I wonder if Kokichi is still there... maybe I'd get the chance to talk to him! My heart rate speed up a little with that thought. We hadn't really talked all day, and normally I can't get him to STOP talking to me. I arrived at the walkway but stopped before walking in when I heard voices. It was Kokichi's voice and... Rantaro??

I hid behind the wall that separated the hall from the dining hall and peered over its side. And to my surprise, there Kokichi sat, right next to Rantaro Amami. I barley see this dude around, what the hell is he doing with Kokichi? My face started to feel hot again, but I wasn't blushing nor was I angry... so what was this feeling? I leaned into the wall and tried to hide as well as I could, but still trying to hear their conversation.

"It sucks so much! I really care about him and then he always acts like this! He's such a meanie..." Kokichi pouted and let his head fall into his arms on the table. Who are they talking about? "Oh, Ouma!" Rantaro smiled at him, his olive green eyes glistening. "I'm so sorry! That really isn't fair... real friends don't do that, you know." He Leaned into Kokichi and placed his face next to his on the table, trying to peek at his face through Kokichi's arms. "How would I even know that... I've never had a friend before..." Kokichi muttered. Wait but- I thought I was his friend...? "Well, this guy doesn't seem like your friend, right?" Kokichi groaned and rolled his head over in his arms before sitting up. " I thought of him as a very close friend! I kinda thought he wanted to be around me..." Kokichi seemed to be actually telling the truth at the moment, something I rarely got to see. "Well, then you and Saihara just weren't meant to be friends! I've seen that guy during our trials, and he doesn't seem like you at all! You want someone who will stick around with you, like me!" Wait- did he say... my name?

My heart stopped for a second. Did he really just say... Saihara? Kokichi looked up to Rantaro with a saddened look on his face. His eyes softened and His lips began to shift downwards. "But... I still wanna be his friend Amami..." is Kokichi talking about me? My heart began to pound in my chest, and I felt my ears grow hotter along with my face. "Oh," Rantaro looked up to Kokichi, but suddenly his eyes shifted in my direction. I froze in my spot. He-he's staring at me... what do I do?! I was too shocked at the moment to move, so I just stood there hiding behind the wall nervously staring back at him. Rantaro chuckled a bit to himself. "Well Kokichi I don't think he's worth it, but" Rantaro leaned in closer to Kokichi and slid his hand up and under Kokichi's, entangling their fingers. "I would love to be your friend." Everything just stopped. I was frozen. Rantaro was now only a few inches away from Kokichi's face, holding his hand and glaring at me. This... this was new. "Woah, you mean it?!" Kokichi jumped up from his chair, pulling his hand out of the others. "You wanna be friends with me? For real??" Kokichi basically was jumping up and down now, his whole mood from early completely changed. "Of course! You seem pretty cool, and your talent is awesome! I'd treat you like a real friend." I started to feel a bit dizzy, I looked down at my hands to see myself sweating and shaking... what is going on??

"Yay!!" Kokichi jumped back into his chair, now a lot closer to Rantaro. "We could play video games, drink grape panta, Even share secrets!" Kokichi leaned back and put his head on Rantaro's chest so he could look up at him. "We could be best friends!" Rantaro laughed and instead of pushing Kokichi away... he placed his hand on Kokichi's head, and the other around his upper waist. "Of course." And with this, Rantaro glanced back up at me, smiling evilly.

My vision began to blur, and I couldn't even watch it anymore. I pulled myself away from the wall and felt big tears drip from my eyes. Why am I crying? Why do I feel this way? Why does my heart hurt so much? Why do I feel so... jealous?! I could hear my heart pounding in my hot ears, more and more tears rushing down my face as a ran to my room. I used my hat to cover my eyes so no one could see me pitifully crying. I ran into my room and slammed the door, painfully sliding down it and clenching my hat to my face. I had completely forgotten about Kaito, Mui, and Maki, all I could think about was Kokichi and those soft, violet eyes, peering right into Rantaro's olive eyes. Kokichi looked at Rantaro the way I looked at him, it was a mixture of confusion, but also longingly wanted the person to stay with you. How could I let this happen? How could I lose him?? "AHHH!" I threw my hat as hard as I could at my wall, causing a frame to fall to the ground and shatter. I slumped over and let myself fall to the ground, choking on my own tears. Just yesterday I wanted nothing to do with the purple haired boy, but now I wanted him more than anything. I may have seen Kokichi and being the lonely one, but deep down without him, I am... alone.

————————————————————————
This chapter kinda hurt my heart :( it's 4:33 am right now and I JUST finished this chapter, and I already published and wrote 3 other chapters today because I have no life! So this is gonna be my last chapter for today! Thanks for reading gorgeous/handsome <3
-1185 words