I can’t believe what I’m hearing.
“You’re…in love with me?”
“Yes. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.” I ould tell by the look on his beautiful face that he truly believed what he was saying. But as muh as I want it to be true surely it’s not. I mean why would someone like him, smart, kind, good looking caring and a good person want to be with someone like me, the school loner who gets bullied and is broken.
“Why?” He seemed confused about my question but I had to know, I had to ask.
“Why?” he questioned, I nodded and he sighed.
“I don’t know but as soon as I saw you you had me. You don’t realise the effect you have on me. At first I didn’t understand what I was feeling and it scared the hell outta me. But after becoming your friend and getting to know you more feelings blossomed. That time you ran away after the dance I went crazy, you have no idea how crazy I really was. I thought I wouldn’t find you, I though I had lost you forever. That’s why I was so pissed at Mike, because he knew how I felt, because I told him. I’ve kept it bottled up beause I know you don’t want to hear it. I mean who would want to hear their teacher tell them that they’re in love with you. But I decided that it’s worth the risk. That YOU’RE worth the risk. I don’t care that it’s illegal =, that I could lose my job if some one found out, but I don’t care because I love you, that’s all I need.” He smiled and I just sat there gob-smacked. I can’t believe it. I don’t know what to do. He loves me, I love him I should tell him, I know, but I can’t. He could lose his job and I know he said he doesn’t care but I know he does.
“Say something Kate, please?” he asked. Should I just say it? Should I just confess my lovetoo?
“I… don’t know what to say Matt. I had no idea you feel that way…” But god am I glad he does. I’m so torn, I don’t know what to do! Do I tell him and risk his job? Or wait. I could ask him to wait for me. Wait what am I thinking?! I can’t do that! H deserves better than me. I’m just the school freak that no one likes, I’m just an unatractive loser. He could do so much better. I love him enough to want him to have a happy life with someone he doesn’t have to hide with.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I guess I just blew our friendship.” He said quietly, I could see him fighting back tears and I felt horrible for making him cry.
“No, don’t apologise. And don’t cry. I’m glad you told me, I just need some time to think, I’ll text you later…ok?” he nodded and rubbed the fw tears that had escaped away. I watched him walk away, then I fell on the couch and cried.
I cried for what seemed like hours but in reality was only 15 or so minutes. Sighing I stood up and went to the bathroom to wash my face. Once I felt a little better I called the person who I’m sure could help me.
“Hello?”
“Hey dad.”
“Katey-Bear! What’s up?”
“I um… really need your help with something. When will you be home?” I asked, hoping it would be soon.
“I finish around 5:30, so it’ll be a little after that. Is everything ok Kate?” I could hear the worry in his voice so I assured him I’m ok, I’m just so confused.
I looked at the clock and saw it was 4:30, only another hour or so.
“See you when you get home.” I said and hung up. I plopped back down on the couch and started watching spongebob.
An hour or so later I heard the front door open, then close then foot steps, then dad was in the doorway.
“Hey dad,” I said to break the silence. He didn’t say anything, just came over to sit next to me then pulled me into a hug.
“What’s wrong Kate?” I know I need to talk to him but I don’t want to do it just yet.
“Let’s talk after dinner, do you want pizza?” he nodded and got up to order the pizza.
“Peperoni please!” Iyelled. I really want pepperoni pizza right now, I haven’t had it in ages! I heard a chuckle from the other oom thn dad ordering the pizza. How do I tell him Matt confessed his love to me?
The pizza arrived half an hour or so later, dad plopped down next to me, handing me my pizza. Yep, that’s right MY pizza. We always do this, get one large pizza each and pig out.
“What movie?” he asked, standing up. I didn’t know so I just shrugged my shoulders and took a bite out of one of my slices and closing my eyes in bliss as the cheese and peperoni flavours danced on my tounge.
“Good pizza, hey?” I nodded and gave him a slice, and then took one of his. We often swap a couple of pieces. When the movie started I smiled.
“Captain America? Hell yes!”
“Ok, we’ve eaten and watched a movie, now talk.”he demanded, I knew this was coming so I just sighed and nodded.
“So Matt told me he loves me today.” I decided just being blunt and putting it out there was the best option.
“Well what happened? Why were you so upset?”
“I’ll start from the beginning…” I started with Ed and Josie after school and continued right to when he left. Dad just sat there and listenned.
“I don’t know what to do dad,” I sighed, hugging him.
Well… do you love him back?” I closed my eyes and thought about it for a minute before answering.
“Yes… I think so.”
“Then what’s the problem?” I guess I understand his confusion. Usually when it comes to love he loves you+you love him= go for it, but that just isn’t the case unfortunately.
“He’s my teacher, he’s older, he could lose his job, go to jail, I can’t have that being my fault. He deserves someone who can give him the things I can’t. Like bing public. He should be with someone who he can take out, and not have to hide, I can’t give him that,” Tears gathered in my eyes but I pushed them back.
“I understand what you’re saying Kate, I do. But let him decide that, ok? And besides, what’s that thing all you young folk always say… oh that’s right, YOLO!”
“Don’t say yolo, I will move out and dissown you.” Helaughed and nodded. I miss nights like this with dad.
“I miss you dad. When do you have to leave again?”
“Next week, but it’s only for a week this time.” I nodded and decided to go to bed and try get some sleep.
“I’m gonna go to bed dad, see you in the morning, and thanks… sort of.” I smiled and left. Talking to dad didn’t really help as much as I hadhoped it would, but it helped a little. Letting Matt make the decisions seems logical but if he then realises that he doesn’t love me and he leaves me, I’ll die. I’ll talk to Mike tomorrow and get another opinion. Maybe he can help. I got out my phone and sent a message to Matt.
Goodnight :) - Kate
I watched as it sent and closed my eyes, a minute later my phone buzzed telling me he replied.
Goodnight Kate, sweet dreams :) xx -Matt
His message made me smile, and so I fell asleep thinking about Matt.
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Sorry it took me so long to update, but I had no idea what to write, hope you liked it and I know it would have been cool if Kate actually TOLD him her feelings, but I don't want to rush it. So comment, send me a message or whatever and tell me what you think. Pleeeeaaaasssseeee? And I don't mind if you want to press that little 'vote' buutton up the top :) Thanks :D
