Survivor (Naruto Fanfiction)

Prologe

My first beating was at the age of one.
My first laps of sanity was at the age of two.
My first time almost dying was at the age of three.
My first time training was at the age of four.
My first mission was at the age of five.
My first kill was at the age of six.
My first time seeing a comrade die was at the age of seven.
My first time killing a comrade was at the age of eight.
It's funny how all of 'my first' are something negative. Not a single one of them is something positive. I want to be proud of myself for accomplishing something positive. I guess the only thing I really wanted was a friend.
Someone who I could lean on.
Someone who's there.
Someone who has my back.
Someone who comforts me.
Someone who I could put my life in their hands.
Someone who I could trust with no doubts.
I've look everywhere I could to find this 'friend' but I still haven't found them.
Maybe this 'friend' is somewhere else.
Maybe I have to go to the other side for this 'friend'
Maybe this 'friend' is right beside me
Maybe this 'friend' is far away
Maybe I'm note any to have any friends
I'm watching children surrounded by children while I'm alone. I'm being pushed to the sidelines to watch.
Wondering if I could join them
Wondering what they're feeling
Wondering why I can't have that
I'm in an ally way getting beat up while watching children holding their parents hand. I'm watching how the child looks up to the parent and smiles.
Wondering what they're feeling
Wondering why I don't have that
I'm walking down the street watching children opening the door to their homes. Watching as they walk in being greater by a "Hello".
Wondering why my house it covered in dirt
Wondering what that feels like
Wondering why I don't have that
I'm sitting on a swing watching how children complain about their parents. I'm watching how other children listen and nod.
Wondering why they're complaining
Wondering why they're taking them for granted
I'm walking down the path to my house and see a boy at the end of the dock. He looks up at me while I look down at him. I'm watching the way he's looking at me.
Wondering why this boy who's alway surrounded by children is alone
Wondering if he's like me
Wondering why he's looking at me
I open the door to my vandalized apartment remembering everything that happened today. Remembering that boy who sat at the edge of the dock.
Wondering if he could be my first friend
Wondering if I could be surrounded by children too
Wondering if I could understand how everyone feels
Wondering if I could have what I have been wanting for years.

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Word count: 478