A Deferred Asset

Chapter 1

"Ang gwapo talaga ni sir in person no?" Tugon ni Xadrielle sa kalagitnaan ng lunch namin.

"Kahit naman sa picture ang gwapo niya na, what should we expect diba?" Deachy replied,another person who became our friend because of Xadrielle's social skills.

They kept on talking about our boss, Mr.Darxon Zecatecas. Our boss whom I was talking casually yesterday. As they kept complimenting him, I was silent the whole time and my friendliness was gone as anxiety filled my senses.

Sino ba namang hindi maa-anxious nang malalaman mo bigla na yung boss mo, kausap mo na pala. Plus, you're just being so casual. Is that why he seemed interested on the game because he took part on innovating and developing it? Oh no, and by he meant with action games, is that Chasing Zen? The first game he created and helped him reached everything he had right now? Sinaraan ko pa naman ang laro, tapos siya pala ang gumawa. Bakit ba kasi palagi akong nakakalimot ng mga mukha ng mga tao? Ayan, nadehado agad.

"Pero sino kaya yung babaeng nakatabi ni Sir no?" Agad akong nabilaukan sa biglang sinabi ni Xadrielle.

"Ang swerte niya naman. Nanotice siya ni Sir with just playing the game, tapos may pa free merch pa and I bet, if mamemeet yun ni Sir, may dagdag pang meet and greet." Dagdag niya at patuloy akong nanahimik.

I know he complimented me, but my anxiety is pushing the fact that I downgraded the game he originally made.

Ilang ulit akong napainom ng tubig mula sa baso at nang maubos ko ito, napatingin muna ako sa paligid bago tumayo. Nakakakaba dahil baka biglang lumitaw sa harapan ko ang boss namin at makilala niya ako tapos ako, hindi ko siya maalala. I sucks in remembering people and it's making me mad right now.

"Okay ka lang?" Deachy worriedly asked me as soon as I went back to our table after getting some water.

"Ah yes. I was just thirsty." I smiled.

"Weh sure ka? You don't seem like you are." She insisted.

"No. I'm just really fine." I assured her with a smile.

"Okay then, but if you are not,just tell us okay?" Ani Deachy at tumago lang ako at itinuloy ang pagkain.

Madaling dumaan ang oras at tinapos ang araw. Pero kahit natapos na ang Day 1 ng event, hindi pa rin ako tinitigilan ng anxiety ko at sa bawat hakbang na tinatahak ko sasabay ang malakas na tibok ng puso ko. Hindi ko ito inisip kanina at pinilit na magfocus sa conference, pero nang matapos ito, parang magwawala na naman ang puso ko dahil sa kaba na baka makita ako ng boss namin.

Heck this anxiety and forgetfulness. How will I be able to conquer all of these in a snap?

I sighed as I enter the pavilion and my heart starts to beat slowly now. Maybe because I'm sure I won't be able to see our boss here and it gives me relief.

Habang naghihintay sa ilan na matapos maglinis ng katawan, kinuha ko muna ang phone ko at muling naglaro. I was in the middle of playing it, when Xadrielle suddenly sat beside me on the bed.

"Huy, okay ka lang?" Pag-aalalang batid niya.

"Oo naman." Ngumiti ako sa kanya gaya ng ginawa ko kay Deachy kanina.

"Alam mo,even if we just knew each other, you can share anything to me. I may be bubbly but I'm a good secret-keeper. I don't spill secrets because I respect privacy and I won't break trust." She said and acted cutely.

I sighed and lightly chuckled.

"Thank you, but really, I'm fine." I assured her.

But to be honest, I'm not. My anxiety is eating my senses the entire time, but growing up, i learned how to fake my emotions and slay the mask that I'm wearing. It's not being a liar to myself and to others, but it's being strong for yourself. Yes,you need to share your feelings to make yourself better, but in my case, I prefer to hide the pain that I'm feeling and let others sorcered by my smile. I don't want to bother others about my problems and such because it started with me, so it's better to end with me. I think it's better like that.