HerSelves

Fourty

•Sean•

      Thoughts filled my head as I took the long walk back to the hospital room. I hated awkward tension and that is what we would have been in throughout the day if not for Boxu. I exhaled heavily as I clenched the familiar door knob of the ward room. I turned it and walked in.

     "Sean" I heard her call lowly from where she sat up on the bed and I would be lying if I said I couldnt detect the remorse in her voice. I looked her way as I headed for the chair which I'd become quite acquainted with.

    "I'm sorry" she told me,her voice dropping a million octaves as she darted her eyes down to where she picked at her nails. I was going to do this,but she'd beat me to it.

     "Its okay..." I trailed off or rather I was cut off when I heard her sniff and moisture dropped against the torso of her hospital wear. "Hey,Viola..." I started leaving my seat to sit beside her on the bed before raising her gaze back to me.

     "Don't cry,its okay. I'm sorry too" I told her as I wiped the tears off her face. I felt worse seeing that I'd broken her to tears,I shouldn't have argued with her.

     "Its just...."she sniffed again and I brushed off the tears  which fell before slowly pulling her into my arms,subtly though so I wouldn't hurt her. "Its okay,I shouldn't have said all that. I'm sorry. Don't cry,please" I told her,tightening my jaw to contain how disappointed in myself I felt.

      I soothed her for a while as she buried her face in my shoulder and I darted my eyes down. I'd already done enough,to top it all I'd made her cry. "I'm sorry,I'm sorry" I kept chanting lowly so she would calm down. The feeling of her taking heavy heaves against me wasnt the best feeling,it made me feel more pained.

     "You're okay,right?"I asked cupping her face as she pulled away. Her nose had turned red so did the rest of her face making the little bruises around look even worse. "I'm good" she replied with a slight cough.

     "Do you need water?" I inquired almost immediately. She looked at me and gave a wry smile "Nah,I'm good" she said sniffing again.

      I adjusted myself on the bed so I would be half laying directly beside her because I had this strange feeling that she would break down again the minute I left this bed.

      "I didnt mean to come off as lackadaisical though..." she started staring at the ceiling and I stared at her,repositioning my head to rest on my angled hand and lying on the side of my body so I would be facing her.

     "I just thought you guys were going through a lot with the medications and moving me around all the time,I thought I'd cut you guys some slack and not whine all the time" she explained. "Mhm" I hummed in understanding as I ran the pad of my thumb over a bruise at that side of her face.

     "And about my family...." she started,gulping before continuing. "We really arent the best of families, my parents prefer doing their own thing all the time,the only person I can actually count on is my sister" she explained to me.

     "Your only sibling is a girl" I added recalling that she'd never told me what gender her sibling was. "Yeah,a really supportive girl" she said with a light smile which made me smile too.

     "Why dont you want to contact her then?" I questioned. "She's always out of the country most of the time so I might disrupt a lot for her" she told me.

    "That's what you dont understand candy,you deserve to disrupt all of us because you need our attention the most now" I expounded my own point of view to her and she nodded. "It's hard sometimes" she told me with a small smile.