love yourself

topic 12 : greiving over a loved one

alrighty im back after a year and 4 months and im better than ever 😜

anywayssss, today's topic is about the loss of a loved one so i'll put a tw of death just in case someone lost a person they really cared about lately, especially with corona happening.

throughout our lives, there will be many people that we will lose along the years, whether it be your parent, friend, cousin, bf/gf etc.

and although two people may have lost a parent, they can grieve in two completely different ways so please don't judge someone if they cry too little or too much. it really does depend on how mentally strong the person is. some people grieve for years, and some people grieve for a couple of months only, but at the end of the day, they are still grieving.

i personally think that letting your feelings out to someone or even your pillow is the best thing you can do. some people may think that they have to stay strong and not cry, however you can't bottle these feelings up. if you feel like you need a hug, then you tell someone you need a hug, if you feel like you need to cry it out, then you cry it out. remember to prioritise your feelings, because you are the most important to yourself.

another thing to not do is to blame yourself for someone's death, as much as you feel it is your fault it is not. whether it's a suicide, a car accident, a pandemic, don't beat yourself up for it. you'll probably think that you could've done something differently to prevent the person's death but if you think about it, fate has already planned out our whole life. there's a reason that the person is gone, and the reason is for you to become even stronger, for you to make your time on earth special, not for you to blame yourself for someone's death. and i know that this sounds veryy spiritual but it is true.

death can also trigger bad habits from the past for people, like drinking, smoking, self harming, doing drugs and more. as much as your body is longing for you to go back to those habits, tell yourself that you can't. you have to stay strong, and this may seem contradicting to what i said earlier, however you have to be strong enough to fight your bad habits, and not weak enough to fall back into them and make them beat you.

also remember that if you feel like you need to go therapy, then go therapy. if this was a traumatising death for you, then you need to tell a specialist that can give you the right advice based on the situation and what you can do to feel better. i sadly can't do that since there are many ways to die that i can't cover in a chapter.

but please do remember that theres is always someone willing to listen to you, even me, so remember to always reach out to someone when you need to. love u.

-vic