❛ i carry your heart with me,
i am never without it.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide...
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MISSING THANKSGIVING WASN'T CRUCIAL, but missing three doctor appointments was. It was Saturday, December 1st, and it had been three days since Lennon returned to New York. She spent all of November with Heath, watching him on set, going out on dates, buying cute baby clothes, and generally just trying to keep him happy. The day she had to leave to come back to the city might have been the most depressing day of her life.
By the end of her stay in London, Lennon was beginning to feel off about Heath's honesty. Yet again she found a scene displayed in the hotel bathroom that wished she could erase from her memory. A plastic baggie with no label but several football shaped pills was found hidden in an empty shampoo bottle. She didn't mention it though, it wasn't worth overwhelming him and arguing. Nor was it healthy for her to work herself up so much.
It scared her nonetheless. But from the time spent with him the whole month, he seemed fine. But of course he did, he was always good at putting on the act that he was doing fine. A part of her truly wanted to believe those pills were just there in case he broke, but the other part knew he was taking them regardless.
Lennon's birthday is the 18th, and Heath made sure he would be there in time since production would be cut for the holidays by the 17th. She just had to wait seventeen days, and she prayed he would make it for those days without her by his side. And although she wouldn't be there with him physically, she made sure to be available for every phone call, every text, and especially every Skype.
She was spending her afternoon with Jake downtown looking at apartments. He wanted to move closer to Maggie, and Lennon as he lived all the way in Brooklyn. It was quite the hike to spend time with either of them, so finally he decided it was time to apartment hunt.
They were on Kenmare Street, the street directly a block over from Heath and Lennon's apartment. It was a nice penthouse, a three bedroom, with a large kitchen and bathroom, something rare for New York spaces.
"I love it, but how do you feel?" Lennon asked Jake.
He was staring out the tall windows, "I don't know, I kind of wanted a balcony– but at the same time it's like, will I really use the balcony?"
Lennon laughed and shook her head, "I doubt it, you're barely at your apartment as it is. What's the point of paying a million more for a space you won't use?"
"You aren't wrong," Jake agreed. He called the realtor over to begin discussing the lease when Lennon's phone began to rang.
"Hello?"
Heath sighed, "...baby,"
Lennon furrowed her brows, "Heath? What's wrong?"
"Lennon I need you," he cried, "I feel so ill."
"What? What's wrong? Do you want me to call Andrew?" Lennon gave Jake a worried look.
"I feel so ill, Lennon, I'm having trouble breathing," He was crying which was making it difficult for Lennon to understand, but she got the jist of what he was saying.
