❛ i carry your heart with me,
i am never without it.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide...
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WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THE HOSPITAL, Lennon made sure to stay as close to Heath as she possibly could. She ran past nurses, up until he was taken into the surgery ward. She stood in the waiting room with Jake by her side, shaking and crying.
They were forced to sit in the waiting room, no matter how much Lennon had begged to go inside the operating room. Whenever a doctor would exit the surgery room the two would stand prepared for the news, but it was always for someone else.
After thirty five long minutes of waiting, a tall man exited and walked over to Lennon and Jake. He took off his face mask and gave a small smile.
"So the good news is, he's alive," the doctor pat Jake on the shoulder, "we had to give him two doses of narcan and use a defibrillator, but he's breathing."
Lennon didn't fully understand what he meant, but she nodded anyways, "so is he awake? Can we see him?"
"He's under sedation right now. He was having convulsions, and we're running the tests right now, but we think the convulsions were seizures."
"Oh my god," Lennon covered her mouth with her hand staring at Jake with tears in her eyes.
"So what does that mean? Is he epileptic now?" Jake crossed his arms.
"That's why we're running the tests right now, sir. He was transferred upstairs, I'll show you to his room. You're more than welcome to wait there until we get the results, but it's going to take a few hours."
Not wasting another second in the waiting room, the two followed after the doctor to Heath's room.
"If he wakes up, just press this button and a nurse will come right away." He pointed you the button at the end of Heath's bed before exiting quickly when his pager buzzed.
Heath looked terrible. His dark circles made his eyes look sunken, and his lips were a light blue. He looked dead.
"Jesus Christ, Lennon." Jake shook his head as he stared at Heath. "This is too scary."
Lennon slowly walked to the side of his bed, softly sitting on the bed. She took his hand in hers and ran her fingers along his skin. Really she was angry, so angry. But the overwhelming thoughts of Heath almost dying were taking over the feeling of anger. She was so mad it had to come to this, but at the same time the voicemail she received from him earlier that morning made this a confusing situation.
"Is there a toxicology report in those papers on the door?" Lennon asked Jake. He walked over to the clipboard reading some of the papers, but shook his head no.
"I'll make sure to ask whenever someone comes by," he went and sat on the windowsill, not feeling comfortable seeing his friend so close and personal.
"Honestly," he stood up, "I'm gonna go call everyone, let them know what's going on. I'm sure they're all worried, those TMZ guys started something I'm sure."
"Okay, just don't worry them too much. Don't mention the seizure thing until we know for a fact," Lennon explained to him. Jake nodded leaving the room to go make his phone calls in the empty hall.
Lennon sat still continuing to examine his face for what felt like the tenth time today. She was so in awe of how different he looked when she had practically just saw him a week ago. It made her sick to know that she felt this coming; she had been feeling like this was going to happen. And now that Heath had nearly died he had no excuse to change. He had absolutely no excuse to get help, unless that was his goal; death.
—
Lennon and Jake had been at the hospital since 3:30, it was now 10:45pm. Jake was asleep on the window sill, and Lennon found herself enjoying the hospital pudding while sitting beside Heath's sleeping body.
A knock came at the door before the same doctor from earlier that day entered the room.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to do introductions earlier, I'm Dr. Jude," He shook Lennon's hand. "We have the results."
"It's really rare for someone to develop epilepsy because of prescription drug intoxication, so I don't believe he has epilepsy. Do I think overtime if his habits continue that he could develop it? Yes, 100%. But for now, because his brain and body have experienced this overdose and revival, he's in shock. We're going to keep him here overnight, see if he has any more seizures. If he doesn't have any more tonight then perfect, but either way he's going to need to start taking Benzodiazepines to stop them from happening in the future."
He continued, "when he is to hopefully be discharged tomorrow the nurse will explain the medication to him. It's something he's going to need to maintain taking every morning–"
"And for how long would he need to take them?"
"Indefinitely." He looked down at the clipboard, "knowing what caused all of this, I'm assuming you're his... wife?"
"Girlfriend, my name is Lennon."
"Alright, well, Lennon, I would hope we have plan of action to get Mr. Ledger into a substance abuse program?"
She nodded, "he's actually set to be taken in downtown on Monday, that's why we were so shocked."
"When people know they are going to substance abuse programs they tend to get overwhelmed. This is normal, though not okay, it is normal for people with these issues to think, let me take everything before I go in. Does that make sense?"
Lennon nodded again, "yes, that makes sense. So should I follow up with the people at the clinic?"
Dr. Jude shook his head, "I've got his primary care on record so I've sent the files to them. Whenever you or Mr. Ledger get the chance it would be best for you to call them and let them know the clinics information so that way they can fax one another. Makes it easier for everyone."
"Thank you so much," Lennon thanked him, giving the doctor a small hug, "thank you all very much for helping him."
The doctor waved his hand, "it's my job, dear. Now if you have any more questions a nurse will be checking in throughout the night. You know where the panic button is in case he does happen to start seizing– he really shouldn't because of the medicine, though."
He was paged again, quickly leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. Lennon went back to her spot beside Heath and laid as comfortably as she could with the little room she had. She wrapped her arm around Heath's torso and sighed.
