❛ i carry your heart with me,
i am never without it.
here is the deepest secret nobody knows,
here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life, which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide...
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HEATH WOKE UP AT NINE A.M., and quietly cooked bacon, eggs and toast for Matilda and Lennon. He placed both of their plates on a serving tray along with orange juice before he quietly made his way upstairs. When he got into their bedroom he found both girls snoring and holding one another.
There was a small section in front of their bed with a couch and coffee table so he placed the tray down, walking to sit beside Lennon's sleeping figure. He ran his hand and up and down her arm for a few minutes slowly moving to run his fingers through her hair. After five minutes admiring her features, Lennon's eyes slowly began to flutter open.
She furrowed her brows, rubbing her eyes and yawning, "you're here? Is this a dream?"
She reached out and pinched his thigh causing him to yell out, "ouch!"
Forming an 'o' with her mouth, Lennon apologized. They stared at one another for a few seconds, not sure who would speak first.
"I'll go to rehab, if that's what you want," Heath cleared his throat feeling uncomfortable with the conversation. He knew that Lennon was unaware, but this conversation mirrored one similar to his and Michelle's.
"I want whatever will make you healthy, Heath, that's all I want."
He brought his palms to his face, covering his eyes as if it would make this never ending nightmare go away.
"I don't want to go at all, but I don't think there's really any other choice. If I go, I just- I'm not sure, I've never been before I feel like that's so extreme."
Lennon sighed, "you're putting me between a rock and a hard place. I don't know what you want me to tell you, I mean I'm here for you and I'm willing to support you, but you need to be honest with me."
"I just have sleeping problems Lennon, you know that. It's been an issue for years now so there's no need for you to say you don't understand my problem. I'm addicted, I can't help it and I'm sorry that I've lied to you about it I really am, but I just can't stop– if I try to just stop and quit, I-"
She held a hand up, "I know, I know, you can't just quit you could get really sick. I get it. But that doesn't mean you can't do whatever is necessary to lay off of it."
"I'm willing to try my best for you– for all of us. I'm sorry that I lied I really am, but I'm promising to you right now that I'm going to try and lay off it."
Lennon didn't believe him, she knew it was going to get worse before it got better, but at least now he was claiming to be up front about his problems with her instead of hiding it. But with Heath it was always up in the air.
—
One Week Later
After talking to Michelle on the phone for a half an hour, the two women decided it was best for her to stay in Los Angeles and extra couple of days. Ever since the night Lennon caught Heath up in his lies there had been a significant change in his demeanor. This always happened, but the longer he could remain this way Lennon was willing to eat up.
