the flaw in being perfect - rini au

forty seven

"Hey, are you okay?" Seb asks when he sees Nini in the library at lunch.

"Oh, hey, Seb," Nini greets softly with her fake smile.

"What's up with the princess face?" Seb asks, sitting down next to her.

"I'm not doing my princess face," Nini lies.

"That smile is faker than Carlos' last relationship with Lina Hasbery."

Nini breathes out a small laugh.

"There she is." Seb smiles. "What's up?"

"Nothing is up. I really am fine," Nini lies again.

"That's funny, because I swear I heard some rumor about you going on a date with EJ Caswell even though I know how many times you've told me you'd never date a guy like him."

Nini's face morphs into a grimace. "You heard about that?"

"It was sort of hard not to. Are you okay? I know he doesn't have the best reputation with how he treats people."

Nini bites the inside of her cheek. "I don't want to do it again."

Seb offers her an empathetic smile. "You don't have to. If he asks again, you can tell him no."

"What if I can't say no?" Nini asks.

"Then I'll be there to kick his ass into next week. Well, I'd hire someone to, anyway."

Nini lets out a laugh once more. Seb always seems to know how to cheer her up.

He's right. She doesn't have to do it again. It's over now.

Nini hears loud footsteps entering the library followed by the librarian calling "Slow down!" after someone.

"Sorry!" a voice calls back, though they seem to still be in a hurry.

Nini assumes it's someone that remembered a project last minute, so she brings her attention back to Seb.

"So, how's the farm?" Nini asks.

Before Seb can respond, a heavily breathing Ricky stops at the table.

"Nini— I—" He takes a few breaths. "One sec. Gotta— Sit."

Ricky flops into a chair, catching his breath.

Nini sits in shock. She was not expecting that.

"I'll catch up with you later," Seb dismisses himself.

Nini chews on the inside of her lip, allowing him time to breathe. She's sort of nervous to find out what he's here for.

After a minute or two, Ricky's breathing has slowed enough for him to have a semi-normal conversation.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing he says.

Nini looks away.

"I shouldn't have ignored you. That was wrong of me. I should have talked to you to see what was going on instead of assuming. I'm so sorry, Neens."

Nini remains silent for a moment, thinking.

"Why?" Nini finally asks, looking back at him.

"Why, what?" Ricky furrows his brows in confusion.

"Why did you assume that I would choose to go on a date with EJ?" Nini clarifies nervously.

Ricky clears his throat. "Well, um. To be quite honest with you, I guess I expect the world to work against me."

"How was that against you?" Nini looks away again.

Ricky fiddles with his fingers. "I just feel like other people are going to take away everything that makes me happy. EJ seems to have it out for me, if you hadn't noticed."

"I didn't actually know he had a problem with you until just before he asked me out. I think he was scared you'd beat him to it," Nini breathes out. As soon as shes done talking, she realizes what she's just said. Her eyes widen, hoping he didn't notice.

"You thought I'd ask you out?" Ricky asks.

Nini starts to feel sick to her stomach. "Um— No." She laughs forcibly.

"Okay, well why don't you think I'd ask you out?"

"I don't think that's a fair question," Nini responds softly. "Why would you ask me out?"

"I can think of a lot of reasons," Ricky responds smoothly.

Nini scoots her chair out quickly. "I, uh. Lunch is almost over. I should get going. Thank you for apologizing." Nini stands up, gathering her belongings. Doing so makes her a little lightheaded, but now isn't the time to worry about that.

"Princess, wait-"

"Please, stop calling me that." Nini says with a deep exhale.

With that, Nini leaves the library faster than she thinks she's left anywhere before.

She gets a bit down the hall before she has to stop, physically feeling like she's about to pass out.

She knows exactly why she feels this way.

She hasn't eaten since Friday morning, before EJ asked her out.

She knows this sets her back, but she can't help it. She doesn't deserve the food. Her mind won't let her feel like she does.

Nini is almost to the bathroom when she finds herself seeing spots. She slows her pace.

She shouldn't have tried to move so fast.

She enters the bathroom, sitting in a stall to regain herself.

She puts her hands on her head and her elbows on her knees to help herself breathe.

The bathroom door opens and Nini hears footsteps coming inside. "She has been so MIA recently. Did you see her at that game? So lazy."

"We made her captain for a reason and she's not stepping up to the plate," another girl adds on. Nini is fairly certain this voice is Gina.

Nini thinks they might be talking about her.

"Do you think she's gonna... You know?"

"Who knows?" Gina answers. "She went to rehab once, so she could do it again."

Yeah. It's definitely about her.

"Do we even know what she went to rehab for?"

"She never talks about it, but I heard a rumor she was on drugs and overdosed. That's what happens when you hang out with people like Ashlyn Caswell. They don't even talk anymore."

Nini closes her eyes tightly. She wants to tell them it's not true, but she doesn't think that she should let them know she's here.

Nini has absolutely no idea what to do.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

shit has, once again, hit the fan

-jenna