Wistful Secret

Sorting my Feelings

I have gradually distanced myself from Aaron. The school is going nuts over the latest scandal, Apparently Jay and Alexa are a thing now and Marco was dumped. I feel bad for him because it was because he proposed me, honestly I don't even believe that afternoon, but then even Sandra saw it, so it was not only me and I have not lost my precious little mind.

Speaking of Sandra, That girl is a totally annoying, and ever since that little detour to Jason's house, she talks sweetly to me. A little too sweet, I assume, because, I swear I hear her talk about me behind my back, Like how can she do that. Katie and me, we have become really good friends now. I even know she has  crush on Aaron. Yeah. Why does this always happen with me? But no boy can have me leave my new friend. I have very much blend in the background now, and people are back to not remembering who I am, it is great, better invisible than being picked on.

The debate camp is coming, and a week of freedom form this monotonous place. I am really happy that I can visit a new town. I have never ever been away from this place, not even a day, so it is kind of new experience for me, but then no one should know about it.

Did I mention Jason is a good secret keeper. Till now, he nor I have uttered a word of what happened in the library to anyone at school. We did give a censored account to our parents and the school authorities, but apart from them,not one soul knows, even the edited version of those 3 days. Sandra was so eager and tried to force the details out of me, but I am not one to crack under pressure, and so is Jason. We just enjoy it among us, the little smiles and glances that make sure we are okay, and Sandra's insecurity prevents us from talking other than work.

Aaron is bugging me why I don't talk to him much. I don't know what to say. Yesterday, he came to terrace and coincidentally was there, but I didn't talk t him much. Because I didn't wan to. IF I don't want his company, I have the right to refuse it, he must understand that.

I did ask him if he had a girlfriend. He lied, he did, and I don't believe him anymore. If Anna wasn't his girlfriend, he is a playboy and if she is and he lied, there is something fishy and I know it. Things can't go back to how they were and I of all people know it, because, once trust broken is never returned, not in life, not ever.

We did talk a little, just casual small talk, and slowly, the little companionship is disintegrating into dust. He has more friends now,and barely talks to me, which is good, that is what I wanted for him, to have friend that are not broken and hurt. Not like me.

We leave for the camp tomorrow, and I want to enjoy there, away from all these deceptions and sweet talks with Jason, when there are no secrets between us, or are there?