Enemies With Benefits - T.H

•32•

"Happy birthday to you, Savannah." I mutter to myself as I order the dress on my computer screen. My birthday was actually months ago but I was so torn up over Tom I didn't celebrate.
Speaking of Tom, there goes my phone again. He's been calling me all afternoon but I really can't be bothered to answer. I know he's just going to bug me about something stupid. I put the bottle of beer to my lips, taking a drink. I don't really like the taste at all, but it's all we have right now.
The front door opens, and I look up expecting to see Hannah, but it's not Hannah.
"Why are you ignoring my calls?" Tom asks, shutting the door behind him.
"Did you seriously drive all the way here just because I didn't answer my phone?" I scoff.
"Quit having an attitude." He says. "And give me that."
He takes the bottle from my hand, and I glare at him.
"The fuck do you want Tom? I'm busy." I say.
"You're not doing well in your classes." He states.
He's not wrong. I've gotten a lot of b's and c's lately, but that is none of his business. How does he even know I've been doing bad in my classes? He's stalking me.. of course.
"You're drinking too much, you're not going out with friends, you're getting bad grades and not participating. Somethings wrong and we need to fix it." He says.
"Stop pretending to care about me." I shake my head.
His head tilts to the side in confusion, sitting down next to me on the couch. I don't like being this close to him..
"Sav I do care about you." He says. "You may have stopped loving me but I will never stop loving you."
Those words make my heart hurt a little, god I wish he would just leave me alone.
"You don't get to do that Tom!" I exclaim.
"Sweetheart let me help you. Please." He pleads.
"Don't call me that! Just go! Leave me alone!" I say, standing up just to get away from the suffocation of him.
"You're drunk and upset I'm not leaving you alone." He states.
"Tom please!" I cry. "Please! Please! Just go!"
"Savannah.." he sighs, standing up. He wants to grab me, and hold me, but he restrains himself. "Why is this happening?"
"Because of you!" I yell at him. "Because I told you not to hurt me! You promised! And here I am, broken again. I loved you Tom, in a way that absolutely consumed me, and it was ripped away from me."
His eyes go bloodshot a frown prominent on his face. He's just as hurt as I am.. except he wouldn't be if he had made the right choice. If he had been honest with me.
"I didn't mean to hurt you, love." He shakes his head. "I can tell you now.. I want to tell you everything."
"What?" I say.
"I want to tell you the truth." He states.
Is he serious?..
"After six months.. and now you want to tell me? Do you really think that's going to change anything? Do you really think that you can fix this?" I ask.
"I'll never forgive myself if I don't try." He says.
"Fine.. let's hear it." I say.
It's too late now.. but I genuinely want to know why he chose to keep his promise to her over his promise to me. What made her so much more important than me? We sit down, but I still stay far away from him. I can't think straight when he's close to me.
"Andrea and i were hooking up for a while, and I had found out that she was abusing drugs and alcohol." He starts. "I didn't feel right hooking up with a girl that's always high, so I ended the sex part, but still remained her support system. That day that she showed up she was really high, and I needed to get her home and keep her safe until someone else could come take care of her."
"Why couldn't you have just told me that?" I ask.
"Because I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone, if anyone were to find out that would have been the end of her career." He says, making me laugh.
"So you're telling me, you didn't trust me? you valued some rich girls career over our relationship?" I ask.
"Sav that's not what I'm saying-"
"But it is Tom. You cared more about protecting this girls image than our relationship." I state. "Not to mention I wouldn't have said anything to anyone."
"And looking back now I realize that. I should have told you and I know you would have kept the secret." He says.
Even had he told me.. the whole idea of Tom leaving to help a girl he use to sleep with doesn't sit right with me. Of course I wouldn't have stopped him, I'm not evil, but he's my boyfriend.. and she obviously needs to get some help from professionals not a random guy she use to hook up with.
"I think we can get past this.." he says, grabbing my hands in his.
"No Tom." I shake my head, pulling my hands away. "It's too late."
"It's not too late. Andrea is gone, it's just you and me. We can do this." He says.
"She's gone?" I question.
"She overdosed, and they sent her to rehab." He says.
"So you only told me because everyone would find out anyways.." I trail off. "And then what happens when she comes back? I just can't go into this again Tom. This girl obviously has a hold on you and it's strong. I don't have time to compete. I don't want to compete."
"You won't have to. It's over. I promise." He says.
"Except last time you made a promise to me, you broke it." I say, grabbing my beer off the table in front of us. "Just go. Please."
"Fine.." he says, getting up and leaving the house.
I let my head fall heavily into my hands. Everything I thought I got over is flooding back now, and I am feeling all the pain I felt before. Of course I want to be with Tom, he is the love of my life, but he chose her, and he will always choose her.