call me back? •billie eilish book•

sixteen

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recap
I find the energy in me to look up into Billies glossy eyes

"Billie" I manage to speak

"Yes baby?" She says wiping my tear stained eyes with her thumbs "Please talk to me"

"Billie I- I think I like girls"
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"Baby that's okay" She says pulling me in tighter

We stay there for a bit. Not saying a word. Letting silence fill the room, only to be taken over by faint sounds of my sniffling.

She understood I needed the time to think, so she let me. But the thought of letting me go never crossed her mind once.

Billie isn't the affectionate type so this is almost strange to me. I'm not complaining but it's strange. The sudden acts of affection when she's around me constantly keep me confused.

I understood the Billie was letting me talk first, when I'm ready. She wasn't going to push anything, this conversation was going to go at my own pace.

About 5 minutes go by and I'm still being tightly squeezed into her chest. Her arms wrapped around my body, one playing with my hair swirling it around in her fingers and the other rubbing against my tear stained cheeks.

"Wha- what if my family hates me, what if my friends hate me. I'll be by myself forever" I faintly say

"You have me, I already know your friends are going to be supportive and if their not then fuck them" She says still holding me close

Emotions still rushing all through my body, I feel like I'm on cloud 9 but not in a good way.

"Billie" I look up at her

"Yes Laila"

"I think I like boys and girls. What if it is just a phase, maybe this will pass"

"Boys" she gags "Kidding ma, if it is just a phase then that's fine. You're still figuring yourself out. I wouldn't tell many people until I knew for sure but the decision is all yours princess"

"Why do I feel this way, why can't I just be normal"

"You feel that way because girls are hot" She laughs

I look up at her and roll my eyes. The tears finally stopped, I was just left with really puffy eyes and a runny nose.

"I'm sorry I'm an ugly crier, I probably look gross right now" I laugh wiping the remaining tears off my face with my sleeve

"I don't think you could ever look ugly" She stares down at me "I'm serious Reid you're stunning"

I meet up with her eyes, the sunlight making her blue eyes even more beautiful than usual. I never completely realized how her eyes compliment her hair so well. It was probably her intention but still. Mesmerizing.

We break the silence by laughing.

And then something happened that I would have never imagined to happen.