call me back? •billie eilish book•

seventeen

~*~*~*~*~*
recap
The only other think that makes me cranky besides not sleeping is not eating burritos and I haven't had any for 3 days straight. I need to satisfy my craving for burritos soon before I go ape shit.

Mm food.

I follow her steps and fall asleep. I'm definitely having dreams about burritos today.
~*~*~*~*~*

•• Billie's pov ••

"I told you to be her friend not sleep with her for fuck sakes Laila. I thought you were better than this"

"Mom I didn't sleep with her, we're just friends"

"That's what all lesbians say Laila you think I don't know? Dear god I tell my daughter to befriend the weird girl and now their having sex in my home this is just great"

"Again we didn't have sex,,just friends"

"How am I supposed to believe that, you didn't go to school all day and I come home to that. You except me to think nothing actually happened between you too. You were practically laying on top of each other when I walked in. You couldn't fit a damn piece of paper between you two because you guys were so close"

"I'm going back to my room"

"I want her gone Laila"

"Ya and I want you gone, I guess we're both not going to win"

"Laila Lucia Martiàmo Reid, you better not walk away from me when I'm trying to have a conversation with you. Come back here right now and talk to me about this. We can get you help. I know a really good doctor"

"Yelling at me is not the same as having a conversation with me and there is nothing to talk about because nothing happened"

Well good morning then. That's a pleasant way to wake up.

I hear her coming storming upstairs. I squeeze my eyes shut and pretend to be asleep. I did this for two reasons.

One, I know she's the type of person to be very embarrassed if I admit that I just heard all of that. She'd probably just cry.

And two, my anger issues are just gonna feed into her anger and no guarantees but a hole may end up in the wall.

It's happened before. I was so mad so I went to Finneas's room. He got mad too which just made me even more mad and now there's a really cute designer hole in his wall. I'd say he's lucky. Imagine having a hole in your wall from me an honour.

I feel a dip in the bed so I know she's sitting down. Maybe a little netflix and chill will loosen her up.. quite literally.

She sits there for a few minutes. Slight sniffles coming from her,,from that I'm guessing she's crying. It hurts me to do nothing but I know she needs the space.

Ya but fuck her needing space.

I sit up and wrap my arms around her, and pulling her back down on top of me

"Good morning angel" I place a kiss on her head

"Good morning Billie" She laughs through her tears

I just hold her. Sometimes actions can mean 1000 words. Or whatever the fuck that saying is, you get my point.

"Billie.."

"It fine, don't feel bad. I'll see you tomorrow"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be. Text me if you need anything. Good bye Laila"

"Bye Billie"

•• Laila's pov ••

Fuck fuck fuck.

This is the last thing I want to be happening. I don't want her to leave me I really really don't.

Intrusive thoughts start to fill my head. The thoughts that haunt me at night. The thoughts that make me think that nothing would change if I wasn't here.

I feel numb. So so numb. I'm not even sad anymore, not happy. I'm numb.

I was scared this feeling would come back. Even if it just comes back for a second it still haunts me.

I try to block this part of my mind off completely, forget about it, pretend it doesn't exist.

I cant do this. I cant do it.

I have to leave I have to go somewhere anywhere but here.
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word count: 688