call me back? •billie eilish book•

twenty two

~*~*~*~*~*
recap
I nod. Billies never been this vulnerable around me before, she always puts up almost like a wall to hide any of her feelings.

She kisses my head and we don't talk the rest of the drive. I sat there fiddling with the rings that covered Billies hand. Her gently humming to herself.

Before I knew it I was asleep
~*~*~*~*~*

•• Laila's pov ••

I wake up, arms wrapped around me. That vanilla sent that has become oh so familiar fills my nose. Legs twirled within mine. Our hands were intertwined, fingers moving ever so gently against the palm of my hand tracing all the creases. Quiet humming fills the silent room, a sound that is so peaceful and calming. Closing my eyes I visualize I'm laying in a field. Free from any worries. Warm air blowing making the trees sway slowly side to side. I hum to myself in bliss. This feeling was so euphoric.

"We need to talk baby, and I know you don't want too but it's for the best that we do" Billie whispers

I ignore her, being too far into my own reality. Too far in a daydream that I never want to leave.

"I'll go first then" She continues "I hope you're not mad at me and I understand if you are but it's for the best, you can't just aimlessly go to LA without a proper plan hun. It's one not safe, and two just genuinely not a good idea" She rambles

I know she's right, but I didn't want to admit to that. I wanted to seem like my plan was a great idea, and that's part of the reason I'm not talking. I don't have anything to say to back up my plan, in the end I know it wasn't a good idea.

"I lived in LA before I moved here, I know people there. We still have our house there. If you really want to go there just talk to me I can figure something out for us. We can go together and I'll show you around, I can help you" She continues

I find it cute that she wants to help me. Seeing this side of Billie makes me feel all bubbly inside. It puts me at peace knowing she feels comfortable to be all soft and mushy around me.

"Please talk to me"

"I..I don't really know what to say Billie"

"Oh, that's okay um"

"I don't want to be a bother, I'm gonna go to Nessa's for a bit until I'm ready to talk to my family"

Before she says anything I break her grasp on me.

I'm guessing all my stuff was left in Nessa's car because it's no where to be seen.

"Goodbye Billie I'll text you okay"

"Wait, I wanted to talk to you about something else" I nod in response "I wanted to talk about um, us? What is this" She looks at me, her eyes looked like glass as a layer of tears cover them.

"I don't know Billie but um, I kinda have a boyfriend"

Her face immediately drops. I fucked up.

"Get out. Leave." She says, it was clear she wasn't asking me to she was telling me to leave.

"Billie I'm sorry I should have said something sooner"

"I SAID FUCKING LEAVE LAILA"

This hurt my heart. Did I just break the girl I'm madly in love with? I never wanted to hurt her, I just had to tell her the truth. It had to come out at some point.

Walking out of her bedroom door, her screaming at me, was the worst possible feeling ever.

What did I just do.
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word count: 621

this is so short i'm sorry🥺