North American Vampire Council & Past Calling (Hypernaturals 12 & 13)

Confused

It was with a deep dread that Morgan and I walked into the house.

No kids in the house. I could hear only two people inside the main structure.

We could hear Angel and Vera chatting away in sublime ignorance up in their apartment. Sounds from Danny and Loris place showed they were home. My parents' car and Nakoma's are both gone, so they had headed out to safety. I do not blame them: I would rather face down the HPA again right now. Massive emotional turmoil is not a thing I am good at.

Helen looks like hell. Red eyes. Runny nose. Blotchy face. Jessica is right: I have never seen her like that. She looks miserable. Jessica is holding Helen over her shoulder, the smaller woman tucked into Jessica's body and partially engulfed. Jessica used her eyes to silently direct us to sit on the coffee table, opposite them on the couch.

If Helen decides to kill me, at the couch-to-coffee-table range, I am dead. My speed won't help that close in.

Morgan and I perched as instructed by compassionate brown loving eyes.

Jessica started the conversation. "Helen. Morgan and Adrian told me their side of this on the phone. I want to know two things. One is if you are EVER going to do anything like that bullshit to any of us ever again. I am not as unhappy as he is, but I agree: Rather than being appointed to head up Medical R&D, it would have been nice to be ASKED first. That however is nothing compared to what you did to him. So: Are you ever going to pull that manipulative, political bullshit on any of us again? I do mean ANY of us. This is a question about basic trust now."

Helen looked miserably at Jessica. "No." She said. It actually was quavery. She is completely at emotional sea. Over five hundred years of hard ass everything, taking bullets for the Vampire team over and over and running her life on her terms all along the way.

Helen is lost in a sea of emotions.

"Ok. Second thing. Are you sorry? I mean deep down in your heart, no reservations sorry?"

"I am so sorry. I fucked up... I am sorry. I just never even thought about this. I... I fucked up."

"Ok. Now. What are you afraid of?" Jessica asked.

"I can't lose you two. I will quit the Council. I will do whatever you ask. Just don't leave me! I need my family. I don't care about Vampiredom or anything. I'll undo everything I did. Whatever you want. Just stay with me!" Helen pleaded.

Yikes! I had enough there. This is Helen crawling through broken glass, and that is not what I wanted. I wanted her to understand how badly I felt treated. Own it. Never do it again. I stood up, pulled her into my arms. Helen started heaving with racking sobs. Morgan joined the hug, and then Jessica did. Helen smushed into three other people's arms.

"Shh." Morgan said in a very assuring voice. "We are not leaving you. We want you to understand. We want to be able to trust you and not worry about being pawns in a larger game. We want to be your lovers and spouses. That is all."

Helen sobbed. "I can't lose you..."

Holy shit. Morgan really hit her hard with that talk. I have been saying damn near the same thing for months, other than using the 'D' word. I guess Helen needed to hear it from someone other than me.

I repeated Morgan's words, more or less. "Shh, Helen. It's OK. We are all here, and we are not leaving you. We just want to be able to trust you."

"Look, darling, everyone forgave me when I fucked up in the very most literal sense of that phrase. You understand what you did wrong." Jessica pointed out

"This is worse than your fuck up. I USED him. I used you." Helen said, in between short breaths. "I forgot... " She shuddered for a deep breath. "I forgot who he is. All my human husbands always loved that I could get them wealth and power. He doesn't care!"

"You forgot WHY you love him, at least in part." Jessica said. "Old tapes, darling. Old patterns. Old ways of thinking about your men. It's fine... You remember now."

"I nearly LOST him over this!" Helen said, and the quaver threatened to return.

"Because you kept thinking he was being an ass about it and not seeing what you did." Jessica said. Morgan seemed happy to let Jessica drive for most of this right now. Morgan precipitated this, but Jessica is landing it.

Helen looked up at me "You heard every word Morgan said to me." Helen said.

"I did. I did not tell her any of that. Morgan just knew, because... Morgan." I said

"You thought about leaving me." Helen said.

I avoided looking at anyone other than Helen. "I thought about it. Yes. I had not decided to do anything. It's a big move. I was going to have to be more miserable than I was, but it would have started to affect the girls. We were on that trajectory. If Morgan had not said anything, and you had not heard her say it... I have said most of those things over and over, but you heard it from her. She added the divorce part as a result. Honestly: That is where you and I were headed."

"I am so sorry. I just ... I am a proud bitch. I could not see past you being angry at me to understand. When Morgan said it and talked about the loss of trust and how she might leave... It all suddenly got so real. I ... I am sorry. Whatever you want from me to fix this, it's yours. I'll get you off Council. I'll leave Council. All of it. Something else. Whatever it is. I need to make this right."

"I need one thing, Helen. One thing only. Your promise to never maneuver anyone in this family. We are not to be manipulated. We are not to be used. We are not chess pieces in your master plan. We are your family. You need something from us, you ASK." I said. "That is all I want. That and the apology you already gave me. I believe you are sorry, and that you understand. Do not fall back into old habits. Remember this moment and hold it in your heart. You are surrounded by family because this is the other side of fuck-ups. Forgiveness."

"Done. I can do that. All I have to remember is ... Stark terror. I love you, and I never meant to hurt you. Any of you."

"OK. Then we are good here." I said softly.

"So, to be absolutely crystal clear: You don't want me to resign? Or get you off Council?" Helen asked, slightly confused. "You hate this job. I can get you out of it if you give me some time."

"No, Helen. That ship sailed. I said yes. I made a commitment and you know how I am about commitments. It was not only to you: it is now to Denise and Anne. They would rebel if I left. No: We are the husband and wife team of Council members. You get to enjoy my abject misery for a couple of centuries. Also, the bank was thrilled to get my Council money, so you can't have that back to play with either. You only are managing my other money from the PI firm, bar, and my code. It's tiny. I am sure you can make it much bigger and happier."

"That's fair." Helen agreed.

Morgan said "I think we need to get in the shower before the kids get home and see to that blotchy face. Some shower loving and warm water will do you a world of good."

"Then, maybe some makeup sex." I said.

Jessica was pulling Helen towards the shower, breaking up the clump. "You'll like makeup sex. I don't recommend fucking up to get it though."