North American Vampire Council & Past Calling (Hypernaturals 12 & 13)

I Never Wanted This

Victoria inserted a pause by sipping her wine and looking at me over the glass. "I have to ask you, Adrian: After all that: are you really that unhappy being on the Council?"

Victoria gave me space to compose an answer by going after some more BBQ.

"I do not enjoy being on Council." I admitted. "I do not care about power. I do not care about all the respect people give me because of my position. Positional respect is fake respect. Respect me for me. Or fuck off. I hate all the suspicion I get from the Vampire world about how I got here. I had one person ask me, to my face, if I am really that good in bed, because obviously, I am fucking you to get here and keep you happy."

I paused for effect. "I mean: come one! Really? I don't have an electric dick. Or, as Morgan once pointed out to a suitor trying to pick her up, it does not glow in the dark. Something fabulously different you could not get bigger and better elsewhere. You and I did not have sexual intercourse. I would remember having sex with you, I am moderately certain! I fanged you. At a wedding. Conclave rules in effect! Besides: Vera once said to me: Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'."

Victoria was properly amused by that.

"While this is not an anatomically correct statement given that it was a woman who was asking me, when someone has the balls to ask me that to my face, I have to wonder about the ones that have not asked me that directly. The ones that think that they can go to a Conclave and screw whoever they want but when I do it, it's political sex and seduction. I am a Catalyst and all, so technically it has a basis. If I did not have control, I could leave a Conclave full of Vampires with child. But: I would never do that! I would never use my pheromones on you or anyone else against their will."

Victoria interrupted "I do not suppose you would tell me who that was that said that to you?"

"You know them, but I won't. You are correct. It's my problem. More to the point, it is their problem. Believing that type of thing about someone they do not know is a sign of a failure of critical thinking ability. Next, they'll be joining a cult." I said.

Victoria smiled "I thought not. Not that I would not be delighted, especially after that lovely fanging, to have you in my bed whenever you are interested, you understand. You have an open and standing invitation to join me there and to bring whoever you like. Conclave rules are not required to be in effect. Having sex with you or anyone else would never influence how I do things on the Council. I draw a line between my sexual pleasure and the business of the state."

"I know that, Victoria. You have never treated me differently after we had that intimacy. One of the reasons we get along. In any case, to finish answering your question: I did not want ANY of this. Helen thought the Vampire world needed me here. She says that there are things that can only be done because I am an outsider. Things that only I can see because I am young and male and smart. I disagree: Morgan could do any of it better. She is a lot smarter than I am. That being said, I do feel like I am making a difference. I hate that it is me that apparently has to be doing it. Denise and Anne tell me all the time they would not be on board with being Crew if I wasn't Crew Secretary." I finished.

"Oh. Let there be no doubt in your mind: You are making a difference. You are unique in the annals of Vampiredom and in so many ways. A male turn that never wanted to use his power for rote seduction. Not only that but as I hear it, your pheromones would allow you to seduce anyone. Not only humans. Yet you do not use that power. That is sexy as hell. Power sensed but never used is sexy power. It is a delicious danger. Helen is not wrong about our world needing you, even as she went about it utterly backward. She knows it too. As I said: She is a different person. All she cares about is her family. She had a million pictures of the kids to show me. Ultrasound of Angel's and Vera's babies. You'd think they are hers."