Toxic Duality (Sope/NamGi) 🔞

9

Dear Diary,

I feel disgusting when he touches me.

The show on TV didn't even register in Yoongi's mind as he was lying on the couch. He had dressed himself in pajamas and brought the blanket with him, bundling up on the couch. He needed something to distract him from his thoughts, but this wasn't working. He cried on and off for a couple hours after Hoseok had left for work. It took all of his willpower to not scream and hit the walls. He felt such a mixture of things and wanted to act out, but he knew that would just get him into more trouble. He couldn't risk making Hoseok so angry again.

Yoongi hated Hoseok. He really did. He knew there was no way Hoseok could love him either. No matter how many times Hoseok said it, Yoongi knew it wasn't true. Still, he was stuck here with the cruel man. He had no access to money and wasn't allowed to leave the house without Hoseok's permission. Even now as he was home alone with the car at his disposal, Yoongi was afraid to make a run for it. Where would he go? He had no friends to take him in for the night. He had no way to pay for gas to make a trip all the way to Daegu to return to his parents. What would he do? Sleep in the car and become homeless? Without money or friends, he was stuck here.

The irresistible urge to vomit made its way up Yoongi's throat as he involuntarily thought about what Hoseok had done to him earlier. He still hadn't slept since then. How could he sleep in that bed now? He knew what that was. His cruel boyfriend had raped him and labeled it a punishment, portraying it as Yoongi's fault. Everything else was apparently Yoongi's fault, according to Hoseok. The rape must be his fault too, right? After all, nothing bad was ever Hoseok's fault.

Grabbing his phone, Yoongi turned on the screen and stared at the emergency services speed dial. It was no use. They would never believe him, would they? Hoseok had a whole story planned out about how Yoongi was the abuser and a liar. Hoseok even had all of his friends to support his story. All Yoongi had to support his side was his own word, Namjoon's word, and no evidence. He wished he had Namjoon with him right now. Yoongi didn't want to be alone, but he also knew that it would be a bad idea to have anyone in the house with him. If Hoseok found out, he had no doubt that the horrible events of today would repeat themselves.

Yoongi was ripped from his thoughts and given a scare when there was a knock on the front door. Who could be knocking in the middle of the night? Surely, no one would be here to see him. Hoseok's friends wouldn't come while Hoseok was at work, would they? A horrifying scenario entered Yoongi's sleep-deprived, fearful mind. What if Hoseok gave his friends permission to come here and hurt Yoongi? What if they all ganged up on him here where there would be no cameras to catch them in the act?

When there was another knock, Yoongi shakily got up from the couch, leaving the blanket behind. Grabbing the remote, he muted the TV then set it back down. He nervously stepped over to the door, his bare feet being placed down with utmost caution to be as silent as possible. Nearing the door, Yoongi clutched his hands to his chest, feeling terrified.

"Yoongi-hyung!" Namjoon's voice called from outside."Are you there?!"

Tears welled up in Yoongi's eyes at the sound of Namjoon's voice. It was a wonderful sound. He treasured the voice of the only person who believed him. Unlocking the front door, he opened it and felt like an ocean wave just crashed over him, hitting him with all the emotions he'd tried to push away this whole time.

"Hyung, Hoseok said you're sick, but I didn't believe him, so I came to check--" Namjoon stopped abruptly when he saw Yoongi break down, clearly in a very fragile state."Yoongi-hyung, what happened? Can I come in?" As soon as Yoongi stepped aside, Namjoon entered the house and closed the front door. The heartwrenching sound of Yoongi's choked sobs from an obviously-sore throat tore Namjoon apart inside.

"He...he..." Yoongi didn't know if he could even say it. What Hoseok had done to him, he was terrified to relive. He couldn't get the images of the horrible event out of his mind. Whether his eyes were closed or open, the scene was there, refusing to leave him in peace. The fear-inducing sound of Hoseok's angry voice haunted him like a living nightmare.

Namjoon reached out to touch Yoongi's shoulder but stopped when the smaller guy flinched. Whatever Hoseok had done today, it scarred Yoongi deeply and apparently made him fear contact. Noticing his bloodshot eyes, Namjoon came to the conclusion that Yoongi had not slept at all and was probably having crying fits. It was easy to see that from how exhausted Yoongi looked. So Namjoon retracted his hand and cleared his throat."We should sit down. You can tell me as much or as little as you want."

Yoongi nodded only slightly. His head was throbbing so painfully as he was unable to make himself stop sobbing in this moment. Even as he led Namjoon to the living room, he was letting out sobs. He couldn't make them stop. He was scared, hurt, upset, and...relieved. He had someone. He wasn't alone. Someone cared."Y-you really came...to check on me..."

"Of course." Namjoon seated himself on the couch and watched Yoongi grab the blanket, wrapping it around himself. The sobbing man curled up on the couch, leaning heavily against the armrest. Something was definitely wrong."You're hurt, aren't you? That's why you didn't go to work."

"Seokie...Hoseok...let me stay home..." Wasn't that right? His boyfriend so generously allowed him to stay home. That was the way it was always said to Yoongi. Hoseok was being generous. He was allowing Yoongi to stay home and recover. That was nice of him. Yoongi was supposed to be grateful for the kind deed.

That sickened Namjoon."He let you stay home. After he hurt you." He could tell Yoongi's sobs were beginning to die down, probably due to his throat being so sore and the exhaustion he must be feeling."I'm assuming you haven't slept at all." Glancing at the TV, he saw that the history channel was on at the moment, muted. He was no dummy. Yoongi wasn't watching the history channel because it interested him. He was trying to take his mind off of what Hoseok had done to him."It was really bad, wasn't it? Did he hit you again?"

Yoongi allowed himself to shift down and place his head on the armrest. He was so tired, his head pounding and throbbing. It had been hurting like this all day, getting worse as he reached new levels of exhaustion and each time he cried."A lot..." Yoongi admitted."He...smacked my head...and pulled my hair..." He needed to tell Namjoon what had happened. Someone needed to know. They couldn't build up evidence if Yoongi kept quiet. He knew that, but it was still so hard to say."He was so mad...I'd never seen him so mad before..."

"Don't force yourself to say anything you don't want to." Despite knowing that they needed to gather evidence of how cruel and terrible Hoseok was, Namjoon didn't want to pressure Yoongi into doing or saying anything that made him upset or uncomfortable.

Yoongi sighed before continuing, trying to keep himself calm enough to not start sobbing again."He yelled at me...to go to the bedroom...to be ready for him by the count of thirty..."

"Ready for him..?" Namjoon definitely didn't like where this was going.

"When he came to the bedroom, he..." Yoongi curled up into a ball, trembling at the memory of what Hoseok had done."He..."

"That's enough." Namjoon couldn't hear any more, and he knew Yoongi was growing too upset."I understand." This showed him what a true monster Hoseok was. If he hadn't been fired up before, he was now."Rest here. I'll make you something to eat."

Yoongi didn't utter a response as Namjoon rose from the couch and wandered off to find the kitchen. He pulled the blanket more around himself and whimpered as his body ached. He hoped it was okay to have Namjoon here with him like this. He would need to clean up any dishes Namjoon used to make sure there was no evidence of anyone being here. Hoseok would certainly notice if Yoongi left around any sign of having company while he was gone. After about fifteen minutes, the smell of food reached Yoongi's nostrils. He was so hungry. He desperately needed food, sleep, and a shower. Though, he might have to opt for a bath since he was in so much pain. As he basked in the smell of the food, he dozed off, feeling grateful to have someone who believed him.