Toxic Duality (Sope/NamGi) 🔞

5

Dear Diary,

Is this my fault?

That night at work, Yoongi kept to himself, as always. He didn't talk to anyone, knowing that everyone hated him for things Hoseok made up. What he didn't understand was why it was so easy for Hoseok to deceive everyone. Did he really seem like a bad person? None of them even spoke to him before. Why would they rather believe he was an abuser than simply ask him about it? He supposed it was because Hoseok was their friend. Of course they would believe their friend.

As he worked alone, Yoongi frowned when his stomach grumbled. He hadn't eaten all day. He really needed something, anything. He didn't care if it was just something small. Just some crackers would be enough to satisfy him right now. Every time he felt too hungry, he just drank a bunch of water to fill his stomach. Yoongi hated feeling hungry, but he knew Hoseok was going to make remarks about his weight again if he ate.

"Am I fat..?" Yoongi quietly mumbled to himself. His hands moved to his stomach, which was beneath his large shirt."Did I really put on weight..?" He didn't know. He never ate much because of Hoseok's remarks, but he wanted to so badly. He wished he could just gorge on delicious meats and sweets. Just thinking about it made his mouth salivate. Thoughts of steamed vegetables, juicy fruits, cooked meats, and sugary sweets swirled around in his mind.

The thought of chocolate filled his mind the most right now. He could really use some comfort food.

Shaking his head, Yoongi banished those thoughts. He shouldn't waste his time thinking about the things he couldn't have.

Still, when the time for his meal break came around, Yoongi found himself near the packaged sweets, practically drooling over a box of chocolate chip cookies. He had no idea how long he stood there, gaze glued to those cookies. He could imagine how sweet they tasted. He didn't know that he was currently being watched, his stare at those cookies clearly observed.

Once he was finally able to tear his gaze away from the cookies, Yoongi made his way out of the store, wanting to spend the rest of his meal break outside. He preferred to sit outdoors alone for his breaks, not wanting to be in the break room with Hoseok and his friends. He did want to get his keys so that he could sit in the car and maybe listen to the radio, but he knew Hoseok's friends probably did something to his bag again."I should start keeping my keys in my pocket." he mumbled. He wanted to keep his phone in his pocket too, but employees were expected to follow the no-cellphones policy while they worked.

Finding a spot by the side of the building, Yoongi sat on the ground and sighed, slumping his shoulders. He didn't want to be here. Working here with Hoseok wasn't even his idea. He knew that Hoseok just wanted to have more control over him. That was why his boyfriend did this. Hell, Yoongi hadn't even filled out the application for this job. Hoseok did that without Yoongi's knowledge then guilted him into working here, telling him that it wasn't fair for Yoongi to sleep while he worked and work while he slept. Yup, Yoongi had a different job before this, but Hoseok had forced him to quit. After all, Hoseok couldn't control Yoongi's social interactions if they worked different jobs.

Not that Yoongi had any friends either way. He knew he wasn't allowed to have friends. So he didn't attempt to make any, not wanting to get in trouble.

While sitting alone in silence, Yoongi was lost in his thoughts until he heard some footsteps. Someone was walking in his direction. As the person got closer, Yoongi didn't dare look up. What if it was one of Hoseok's friends? What if it was Hoseok? Did he do something wrong? What did he do this time? How should he apologize?

The person sat on the ground about two feet away from Yoongi and placed something down between them."I saw you staring at them." was all he said.

Turning his gaze to the side, Yoongi was surprised to see Namjoon. They had never interacted; this was the first time. Then, Yoongi looked at what was placed between them. It was a box of chocolate chip cookies. Yoongi didn't speak, assuming he would say something wrong, but his expression sure was inquisitive and full of confusion.

"Before you ask, yes, I've heard all the things about you." Seeing Yoongi shift his gaze away, Namjoon reached down and opened the box of cookies, taking one out."I want to know more." He took a bite of the cookie then nudged the box closer to Yoongi."Will you tell me your side?"

That was something Yoongi had never been asked before. Someone wanted to know his side? Why? Didn't Namjoon believe Hoseok? Wasn't he one of Hoseok's friends? Yoongi didn't know what to say. He knew he wouldn't be believed. He had no proof of Hoseok's abuse. Besides, Hoseok was such a sweetheart in public. There was no way anyone would believe he was an abuser. If Yoongi spoke up about it, he had no doubt that he would be labeled as a liar. So he kept his mouth shut.

This was definitely making Namjoon suspicious. Things didn't seem right, from what he was seeing here at work. He wanted to believe Hoseok because they were friends. However, there were signs that he couldn't ignore. If Yoongi was the abuser, why was Yoongi silent while Hoseok was talkative? If Yoongi was the abuser, why did Hoseok have plenty of friends while Yoongi clearly had none?

Were the others standing up in defense of an abuse victim? Or were they unknowingly assisting in the abuse?

The two of them sat in silence for about ten minutes. Namjoon kept nudging the box of cookies closer to Yoongi, but none were taken. Namjoon ate three of them himself, leaving seven still in the box."I see you don't want to talk, but I'm all ears whenever you want to give me your side. Whether you're guilty or innocent, everyone deserves to voice their side of every situation."

Yoongi pursed his lips as he kept his gaze down, not daring to look up at Namjoon as the other guy stood. He just waited for Namjoon to walk away. As soon as he was alone again, he cautiously grabbed a cookie from the box. He held it close to his nose, savoring the sweet aroma. It smelled delicious. Just having this cookie in his hands brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to eat it. He wanted to eat all the remaining cookies.

---

By the time the shift ended, Namjoon was practically dragging his feet. He just wanted to go home and relax now. Walking toward the exit with Seokjin, he had his shoulders slumped."Why do these nights feel like they go on forever?" he whined.

"Because they do. I swear, they do." Seokjin complained as well."Where were you at lunch by the way, Namjoon? You usually eat behind the front service counter, but you weren't there when I went to find you. I don't know why you won't eat in the break room with the rest of us."

"I like eating behind the service counter. The lights up there are turned off at night, and it's relaxing." Namjoon knew that was weird, but it was calming for him.

"So you prefer to eat in the dark? Weirdo." Seokjin chuckled and gave Namjoon's shoulder a playful nudge."But that doesn't answer my question. Where were you this time?"

Smiling at the playfulness, Namjoon shrugged."I came outside." he answered as they stepped out of the store."I wanted to chill out here since it feels stuffy in the store sometimes."

"Makes sense." Though, that made Seokjin think of something."Doesn't Yoongi come out here too? Did you happen to see what he was doing?"

Namjoon immediately shook his head in denial."Nope. Didn't see him. We must have spent our time in different spots." As they walked around to the side of the store to start heading in the direction of their homes, Namjoon looked for the box of cookies, wondering if Yoongi ate them or not. And when he spotted the box, he walked a little faster to get to it.

"Joon? What's that?" Stepping closer, Seokjin perked an eyebrow at the sight of the box with six cookies in it.

"I forgot my cookies out here earlier." Namjoon lied."I should throw them away." He picked up the box of cookies and glanced around for a trashcan or dumpster. Spotting the store's dumpster, he took the box of cookies over and tossed it inside. The dumpster was pretty tall to keep stray animals out of it. Even Namjoon had to get on his toes and reach up high to toss anything into it. Maybe that was why Yoongi didn't throw the cookies away. He probably couldn't reach. But then, why didn't he just take the box inside to dispose of it? Why didn't he keep the cookies or eat more than just one? Namjoon couldn't help but be curious."Anyway, let's go. I need to feed my fish and eat something small before I sleep."

"I'm just going straight to bed when I get home. I'm too tired to eat. I'll eat whenever I get up later." Seokjin was often too tired to do anything after work. All he wanted to do right now was sleep.