leaked (l.h.)

3

t.w.// rape

As Tyler drives me to his house, I unfold the piece of paper Luke had given me this morning. In the center, he had scribbled his number and a little stick figure drawing of himself. And when I see it, I can't help but smile at how much it looks like him. "Ha," I say, shaking my head as I dial his number into my phone.

"What is it?" Tyler asks, turning down the loud hip-hop that plays over the speakers.

"Nothing," I smile, folding the paper back up and sliding it in the pocket of my jeans. I watch my thumbs tap across the screen in front of me, and before I know it I have already sent Luke a message.

"Hey," it reads. "It's Grace."

"Hmm," he smiles, looking over to me as I turn my phone off. "Okay. Well, how are you feeling?"

"Fine," I say, looking over to him. And truth be told, I still feel exposed from last night. Knowing that my topless photo is in his camera roll is terrifying at best, but I try to ignore it. Hopefully tonight I can convince him to delete it.

When we get to his house, I see how empty his usually busy driveway is. Sharing a house with his two younger siblings and his parents, it was never uncommon to have to share Tyler's attention with everyone else in the home.

"Your family isn't here?" I ask, raising my eyebrow as I step out of his beaten up pickup truck.

"Laila had a soccer tournament," he says, smiling widely as he leads me inside. "It's just ours. And hopefully we can have a bit of privacy."

"Okay," I nod, feeling my heart skip a beat. Already, I wish I wouldn't have come here with him. But I know that it's too late. I should have driven myself here.

"Are you hungry?" He asks, walking towards his perfect fridge in his perfect kitchen, the walls lined with quotes that his Mother loves so dearly. My house, although almost as big as his, isn't so well put together. And every time I walk inside, I wish that my Mom would put a little effort into our home.

"No," I say, standing awkwardly at the door way as I watch him pull out one of his Father's Coronas from the fridge.

"Okay," he shrugs, and after he pops the beer open he leads me up the narrow stairs to his bedroom. On the walls on either side of me hangs pictures of his family: smiling faces and bright eyes, and I wonder what his Mother would think of him pressuring me to do things that I do not want to do.

As I walk into the bedroom and smell his cologne, I hear the door click behind me. Awkwardly, I sit on the edge of his bed. My heart is racing. I don't want to be here with him.

"So," he says, letting out a deep sigh as he sits beside me. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I said," I snap, "I feel fine."

But I don't feel fine.

"Okay," he nods, seeing that I am nervous. "Well, as you know I am leaving next week."

"I know," I say, feeling my heart break in my chest. "And I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, babe." He says, reaching over to grab my hand as it rests on my lap. "Have you thought at all about it?"

"Yeah," I lie. "And I really don't want to do it. " I gulp, turning to face him and I watch his jaw clenched tightly. So I proceed with caution. "I really don't, and I pray that you understand me when I tell you that it isn't going to happen tonight, or this weekend, or anytime soon."

"I don't understand you," he scoffs. "You're acting like a prude, when last night you showed me your tits as if it was nothing."

"Well that's because you were trying to get pictures of other girls, right?" I furrow my eyebrows together as I glare at him. "Because you were trying to get what I wasn't giving you. Right?"

"I have needs!" He barks, standing up and yelling down at me. But I am not scared, because as much as he intimidates me I have to stand my ground. Or else he'll make me do things that I don't want to do. "And dammit, if you won't fulfill them I can find someone who does!"

"Then why don't you?" I scoff, standing up too. "Because if you really loved me, you'd understand that I didn't want to do it with you!"

And as he takes a step back, realizing that I am not going down without a fight, I see him pull his phone out of his pocket.

"I think I know what'll convince you," he chuckles, a sort of sourness to that laugh I once loved to hear.

And within a second, I see that photo of me. Standing in front of the mirror, my breasts and my face in full vision. I feel my heart drop, raising my eyebrows as I realize what he is doing.

"Either you lay down and let me have my way with you," he smirks, taking a step towards me to where I can feel his breath on my lips. "Or I send this photo to everyone on my Snapchat."

"You wouldn't." I say, my voice shaky as I feel the room around me spin. "You wouldn't do that to me, Tyler."

"Why don't you walk out and see for yourself?" He chuckles. "So it's in your best interest to let me do as I please."

I feel the tears finally escape down my cheeks. My heart races, and all I want to do is say fuck it and run. But I know how unforgiving the hallways can be at school, and I know there will be no way I make it out of this bedroom the same person I was this morning. If I sleep with him now, maybe I can just suck it up and pretend it didn't happen. Maybe I can just bite my tongue and close my eyes and try to not pay attention to the boy who holds me hostage.

"So?" He asks, watching how my teary eyes close at the realization of my decision.

"Fine," I mumble, defeated. "Do what you need to do."

And as he walks to the lamp, clicking it off I watch as the room around me turns to darkness. I close my eyes when I feel his hands on me, and when I find myself naked on his bed I hold my breath. Maybe if I hold it long enough, it'll take me somewhere far, far away from here.