leaked (l.h.)

12

t.w.// rape

I stand outside, right before the three o'clock bell rings. I know seniors get to leave early, so as I rock on my feet I feel myself begin to sweat in panic. I know he probably will say no, but it's worth a shot... right?

"Dude," I hear his deep voice as he pushes open the door. He talks aimlessly to one of his teammates, and as they pass me I wonder if he knows what Tyler is up to after school.

"Tyler!" I call, feeling my heart begin to race as he stops in his track. When he sees me, his eyebrows raise. I stand on the pavement, anxiously rocking on my feet as he walks closer to me. I pray that this monster has an ounce of empathy.

"Hey, I'll text you," Tyler smirks as he talks to his friends, raising his chin as he rubs his hands together. He looks at me up and down, and as the beads of sweat form on my forehead I feel my heart race. "You're out early."

"Yeah," I stutter. "I actually, um, I wanted to talk to you."

"Right," he nods, reaching his arm up to place it on my lower back. And as we walk to his car, I bite my cheek to distract myself from his hand that keeps inching lower.

"Tyler," I say, taking a step back to escape from his wondering hands. We aren't quite to the car yet, but as I reach backwards to grab his hand to keep it from going anywhere else I hold him the wrist. The same way he held me, except I'm not as strong as I wish I was. "Tyler, can we reschedule tonight?"

"Grace.." he begins, scoffing when he realizes what I'm saying. "You remember our deal, right?"

"Yes," I begin, my eyes wide as I see his jaw clench. He is angry. "But I've got somewhere I have to be."

"I told you that you were mine when I wanted you," he lowers his voice, taking a step towards me as he forces his arm out of my grasp and instead grabbing mine. "This didn't include rain checks."

"I don't care about the deal," I glare. "I don't care anymore. Publish that picture, see if I care. But as far as I know, my life was ruined the moment you walked into it."

"Those are bold words," his evil grin only seems to grow as he says this. I feel my heart break in my chest, and my hand pulls away from him I can't help but take a step or two away from him. The cuffs around my ankles can't hold me down anymore. I'm tired of giving bits and pieces to him when I myself am already missing too many to spare. "Are you sure you mean them?"

I wish I could say that I did. I wish I could stand in front of him confidently, one hundred percent sure that I was okay with my photos being seen by everyone who attends this hellhole. Truth is, I'm terrified of having anyone see this photo. And if I wasn't too far in, if I wasn't already way past the point of no return, I would try and take it all back. Luke will see them, Calum will see them. People who I have never spoken to before will know what my chest looks like before they know my favorite color. 

But still, I know that I won't be able to survive this abuse much longer. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I've lost who I have become and it has only been a few days. I don't know who I'd be in a few months, but I know that it would only be worse if I had allowed him to continue to use me.

But if I want to survive, I have to do this. I mean, I can deal with their antagonizing for a year, right?

Probably not. But still, it's better than being Tyler's sex toy.

I don't say anything else to him. I clench my jaw, raising my chin as I put on a brave face despite how scared I am. He smirks as he watches me take a step back, and as I witness him pull his phone out of his pocket I know that physically I cannot stay in this empty parking lot much longer. If I want to be on time for Luke's show tonight, I have to leave now. But before he gets too far, I hear him call after me. 

"Okay," he begins. "So you're scared you'll miss that show. Tonight at seven, right?"

I turn around, looking at him as I am stopped in my tracks. How would he know?

When he sees how flustered I am, I watch as he takes a step or two closer to me. His eyes wondering up and down my body as he remembers what it looks like bare. I hate that he has access to it.

"An hour won't hurt, right?" He says softly, reaching down to take my hand. I watch as he takes my cold ones that are damp with the sweat after what had just happened. He holds it in his warm ones, bringing my knuckles up to his lips. And although this gesture is the sweetest he had done so far, I feel chills run down my spine as I know that it is tainted in such evil. 

I don't trust him. The butterflies that I used to feel in my stomach have been stifled by his chokehold on me. They've been replaced with fear, and I wish I wasn't too scared to turn away. I wish I was confident enough in my decision not to listen to him. 

"Tell you what," he smiles, forcing his long fingers between my short, dainty ones. It doesn't fit as perfectly as it did before. "Come home with me now, and I promise that you'll be at your concert in time to see the entire thing. That way, your nudes stay safe with me and I'll get what I want. Deal?"

"Tyler," I furrow my eyebrows together, looking down at my hand inside of his. My nails, which used to be painted at least once a week, are chipped and broken. I've not been taking care of myself like I used to. 

"Shh," he smiles, backing up towards the car with my hand in his. If I wasn't so terrified, I think I would be able to understand why I had fallen for him so hard once upon a time. He's charming, but I know better now. I wish I knew then. "Just come with me."

I take a deep breath as I find myself in his car, closing my eyes and laying my head on his seat. I thought I was finally free from him. So how did I end up here?

As I stare out the window with tears in my eyes, I can't help but convince myself that I am stuck. I will never escape him. 

His hand on my inner thigh that keeps trailing up farther and farther makes me wish I had just ran. I wish I ran.

"Lay down," he says, his voice hushed as I am pushed on the bed slowly. His family is loud downstairs, so the sound of my muffled sobs with a pair of his socks in my mouth doesn't bring them closer. My head spins as I scream as loud as I can. I scream so someone can hear me. But as far as I know, I am alone. Truly, completely alone. 

The room grows darker as my sobs grow silent. I open my mouth, but the sound has left. It doesn't take me long to realize that I've grown numb. My clenched fist, my curled toes, my entire body gives out. It's finally happened; every ounce of fight left in my body has escaped. And I don't blame it.

My eyes grow heavier. My breathing slows, and my head falls back on the mattress. Tyler doesn't notice, not that I expect him to, but I would think that he's give a shit if I die right here. Right now.