leaked (l.h.)

13

The amount of rest I got afterwards was more than I've gotten the entire week.

And as I feel the warm embrace of my bed as I flutter my heavy eyes open, I realize where I am. And not too long afterwards, I notice the steady glow of the rising sun out my window. I'm still in the clothes I wore to school the day before, and as I feel my breath catch in my throat I realize what had happened.

"Oh no," I gasp, sitting up quickly as I grab my phone out of where I had left it in my backpack. I dial Luke's number, holding it to my ear as I sit on my bed. I'm way too weak to be moving around as quickly as I am, but I can't help it.

After the first beep, it goes to voicemail. Luke rejected it.

"Dammit," I scoff, dropping my head as I feel the familiar feeling of heartbreak in my chest. A sort of wound that I had never anticipated getting, since I was convinced that it was too broken to begin with.

My family isn't home, and when I check the time I realize I'm an hour or two late. I've definitely missed art class with Luke, and I'm basically halfway through the morning. And despite my inability to be motivated enough to go to school and at least try to participate, I go anyway. Because maybe I'll see Luke. And maybe I can explain to him what had happened. Maybe he wouldn't tell.

I jump in the shower quickly, washing off the remaining evidence of yesterday. The bruises are now a faintish green color, and the hickies - gone. But as I look into the mirror, I run my finger across a scab that's formed over my lower lip. I must have hit my head on something sometime while I was passed out. But like everything else, it'll heal. I just wish that the emotional scars could heal as easily as the physical ones.

I look for him in the crowd of faintly familiar faces that don't give me a second look, not like they used to. I used to watch them part in front of me like the red sea when Tyler was by my side, but now... not so much. I'm a burn out, a nobody. And Tyler is living large somewhere with his senior friends and Arzaylea.

And I see him, surrounded by a group of people I've never seen him speak to before. Like yesterday, he crosses his arms as he leans on the brick wall casual, nibbling on his lip ring as he watches Calum chat up a girl beside him. He smiles faintly, the soft grin exposing the dimples I had always admired so much. He looks tired, but happy.

"Luke," I interrupt them, holding my books to my chest as I force myself into the clique. My hood is up over my head, and as they stare at me up and down they realize who I am. I am a shell of who I used to be, and I wish someone would ask why instead of watching me fall apart in front of their very eyes. But as his eyes move from one girl to another, and then eventually to me, I watch how he raises his head off of the wall. "Can I talk to you?"

"I'm actually late for class," he clears his throat, wiping the palms of his hands on his ripped jeans. As his eyes meet mine, I realize that they don't soften like they used to once upon a time. Instead, they grow harder. He moves himself off of the wall, walking past me when he realizes that the clique he has found himself in is already halfway down the hall.

"Please?" I say, pleading for the Luke I had once known to reappear.

And as the hallway empties, he pauses in his tracks. Slowly, I watch his tall and broad frame spin back around to face me. It's worked.

He doesn't say anything when he turns to face me. Instead, I watch as his eyes burn into mine. He isn't hearing it, but I try anyway.

"I was going to go last night," I whisper, looking around the hallway for a sign, any sign, of Tyler. "But-"

"You were with Tyler," he raises his chin. "But I understand. Priorities, right?"

"Luke," I frown, feeling my eyes water. I hold my breath as I take a step or two closer to him, lowering my breath as I once again glance around the school. And when the coast is near, I tell him what I need him to hear. "He is blackmailing me. He has my nudes and he said that if I don't-"

"You know how important last night was to me?" He raises his voice, louder than I've heard before. It shakes the walls, and as my eyes widen I am scared that it'll attract unwanted listeners. "I wanted you to be there. I didn't want anyone else but you. And you didn't even show up."

"I wanted to!" I exclaim, warm tears falling down my cheeks as I feel my stomach drop. "But I couldn't! Tyler was forcing me to have-"

"I thought you actually had depth," he shakes his head. "I thought that you were more than a pretty face, but I guess I was wrong."

"Jesus, Luke!" I cry, walking forward to grab him by the biceps. "Let me fucking talk!"

And as he furrows his eyebrows down at me, I watch as he goes to open his mouth. But he stops himself, glaring down at me as he waits for my response. He is listening, and as my grip on his arms loosen I move them back down to my sides.

"He..." I begin, looking down to the floor as I speak. I can't look him in the eyes as easily as I could before. "He kept my nudes, and he said that if I didn't sleep with him he would leak them. And last night, I guess I must have passed out in the middle of it and I missed your show."

He is silent. Way too silent.

"Luke?" I ask, looking up at him as I search for any sort of reaction. His eyes are still hard, his jaw clenched tightly. I watch how he licks his lips softly, shaking his head as he takes a deep breath.

"It's okay," he looks down at my lips, taking a step back and away from me. "If you didn't want to go to my show, you could have just said something."

"Luke," I plea, feeling my world fall apart around me. "Please believe me."

But he does nothing. He turns back around, shoving his thumbs underneath his backpack strap as he leaves me alone in this hallway.

I have never felt so lonely as I did in that hallway.