leaked (l.h.)

31

"Grace," I hear a gentle hand shake me awake. "We're going home now."

"Hmm?" I ask, bringing myself up off of the ground as I see Michael standing above me, the two other boys doing their best to keep themselves from toppling over. "Oh, okay."

Luke stands in the doorway of my bedroom, watching the two boys pull each other off of the bed. The room spins, and I am absolutely freezing. And as I turn to see the clock on my nightstand, I see that I've got an hour or so before my parents come home.

"Thank you for the pizza," Michael says warmly. "And thank you for letting me crash on your floor."

"Ha, no problem," I smile softly, bringing myself to my feet. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," Michael, Ashton, and Calum all grumble as Michael leads them downstairs. And as I sit on the floor, I realize that Luke has stayed behind. But as he furrows his eyebrows together, I realize that he feels bad for me.

"You need help up?" Luke asks as he walks over to me. "Are you still okay?"

"I'm fine," I shake my head, grabbing onto my bed as I bring myself to my feet. As much as I had wished that I had somehow dreamed what had happened up in my mind, I realize that I didn't.

"Don't hate me," he watches as I throw my pillow on my bed. "I really don't want you to hate me."

"I can't hate you, Luke," I look at him. "I couldn't hate you even if I tried."

"I wish things were different," he says quietly as I move to my bed.

"I just don't understand," I sit on my bed, bringing a pillow on my lap as I sit criss-cross. "I'm not crazy. Why do you keep leading me on? Friends don't look at each other the way that you look at me."

He says nothing. Licking his lips softly, he rocks on his feet as he shrugs. He can't give me the answer I desperately want and he knows it. He knows it.

"Whatever, I'm tired," I frown, walking over to the fairy lights and pulling them out of where they're plugged into the wall. And as the room goes dark, I feel him stare at me. "I'll see you at your show tomorrow."

"You don't have to go if you don't want to," he says quietly. "If you want to stay home, you can."

"You're insane," I lay sit down on my bed, the lightning outside brightens the room which gives me yet a better view of his beautiful face. "Of course I'm going. You are still my best friend, even before I fell for you."

"And you're mine," he says quietly, and as his footsteps find me in the dark he sits on the edge of the bed. Slowly, he wraps his arms around me and brings me into his embrace. Like earlier, except it's not as intoxicating as it was this morning. As if he is holding back. I lay my head on his shoulder, feeling his gentle hands as it runs up and down my back.

"January is going to come quickly," I say quietly. "Too quickly."

"Maybe you can come on tour with us?" He suggests, his gentle breaths telling me the impossible. "It'd be fun, touring the world with you."

"Yeah, maybe," I let out a soft sigh. "Somewhere far, far away from here."

"I can take you to Australia with me," he says excitedly. "I can show you where I grew up. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"Sounds fun," I smile, sitting up and backing off of him. I'm not sober yet, but I can definitely feel things I'd rather be numb to. "I had never thought I'd get to go to Australia."

"I'll take you everywhere," he squeezes my hand as he brings himself up off of my bed. "And, who knows. Maybe things will be different in January."

"Maybe," I lay on my bed. But I won't get my hopes up. I've done that too many times before.