leaked (l.h.)

36

Luke's taken off his wet clothes, my back turned to him as he instead wraps one of my blankets around his body. I hear him shuffle in my bed, his chattering teeth slowing down as he takes soft sips of the tea I had made earlier. My breath is still taken away by what may or may not happen tonight, and I know that I'll probably give into him tonight if he makes the first move. And I don't think I'll regret it.

"Have I told you how much I like your room?" Luke reminds me as I grab another blanket from my stash hidden inside of my closet. I unfold the blanket, looking up at him as he gives me the cue that he's covered. And as I walk towards him, I wrap the blanket around his shoulders. "It's warm. Like you."

"I try to be warm," I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I watch him bring the mug up to his pink lips. His cheeks are still red from what I assume to be the cold, redder than I've ever seen them before. I tuck the blanket in around his neck, ignoring the nip of the cold room against my nose. It's funny, how cold it can get in the late summer. I guess that's one thing the rain brought with it. But I don't mind. I like the rain. I feel butterflies in my tummy as he calls me warm, the sort of compliment that'd make any girl fall in love with a boy like Luke. As if it'd really take any effort.

"You are," he turns to me, the book with the card tucked inside the pages. I feel my lips turns into a grin as I look up at him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he lays his head back on my pillows. And as he lays in front of me, I can't help but admire how perfectly made this boy is. Luke knows how in love with him I am, but he doesn't know that I love him the way that doesn't break me apart. I'm past that now. And as I see the lights above glitter in his eyes, I see that loving him has healed me. Is healing me.

"Are you okay?" I ask him, moving off of the bed as I go towards my vanity. I grab a hairbrush off of it, slowly running it through my hair as I sit on the bench. I look in the mirror, and in the reflection I can see Luke's warm stare in my direction. I feel goosebumps cover my arms. "Like, usually you come here when something bad has happened."

I turn to look at him over my shoulder when I am finished getting myself ready for bed. I watch how his face softens even more than it already was. But when he shakes his head, I see that he just wanted my attention. And I don't mind. I'd give it all to him if he asked for it.

"I just wanted more time with you," he pulls the blanket tighter around him, and as a dimpled smile meets my gaze I can't help but feel my cheeks redden. "And I kind of wanted to ask you about something."

I gulp as I turn on my bench to look at him, watching how he slowly reaches for the card I had written him ages ago. I feel my breath catch in my throat like it had so many times already today, and as he runs his fingertips along the edge of the opened envelope I see that he's blushing more than he ever has. And I thought it was the cold.

"I know you told me not to read it, but I couldn't stop myself," he looks up at me. "And, to be honest, I don't regret it, Grace. Not at all."

"Luke," I stand up, taking a step or two towards him. "Everything I said, every word, I wrote it when things were different." I lick my lips as I feel how shaky my voice is. I'm nervous. "I told you, it's bad taste now. Because you're with Emma, and you're about to leave-"

"It can't be that much different, right?" He looks up from the envelope and towards me. "You wrote that no one can ever make your heart stop like I can. And when you look into my eyes, for a moment, just a moment - everything is more than perfect. And when I smile at you," he pauses, moving up in the bed so that he can get his point across better. He sounds... desperate. "You said that my smile is sobering. Do you still mean it?"