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His birthday is coming up. Jahseh's. I got him a lot of stuff when Stokeley and I went to the mall but it would suck if he didn't talk to us while we gave him his gifts. I know he needs time to himself, for fucks sake he just found out that his own girlfriend cheated on him AND she put him in jail, of course he needs time to himself. I just- it's not even about me anymore, we're all worried. This house is so quiet nowadays, Jahseh is silent in his room, Stokeley is also silent in his room since he barely even wants to speak to anyone anymore. I- I'm fine. I mean like I'm upset of course, but I'm trying to just stay calm and not get too upset. Amina has been over a lot but not for Stokeley anymore, mainly for me, since Stokeley has cut everyone off almost. "Hey? You good?"
"Oh sorry, I zoned out for a bit. How've you been? I know Stokeley hasn't talked to you much lately, and I'm sorry about that. It's not your fault." Amina starts to play with her fingers and look down, I can tell that she hasn't been the happiest either.
"I mean I get it, so it's fine. I can't make him talk to me, I just want him to know that he can whenever he wants and I'll listen. I miss him but I'd rather give him his space than pester and bother him too much." I nod, agreeing with her, and our conversation was cut short by the sound of singing coming from the recording room.
Sounds like Jahseh, but it's a sad song. Sadder than the ones I've heard from him before.
"Dead inside Spend a lot of time stuck in this head of mine Under the assumption love is dead, already Just let me be here
Where was I? When he was feeling on you with his hands, at night? Seen the vivid pictures in my head, at night It left me in tears
Where was I? When he was feeling on you with his hands Seen the vivid pictures in my head Under the assumption love is dead
Where was I? When he was feeling on you with his hands Seen the vivid pictures in my head Under the assumption love is dead"
Beautiful. The song was beautiful. Very sad, but it makes sense as to what he's going through. That's not the first time I've heard his voice since court, but it's the first time I've heard him sing since it. "Damn." I chuckle at her words, and we make our way to the kitchen.
"Are you hungry? I should probably cook dinner now." I look over to the clock and see it's 7:28.
"Um actually I have to leave, my parents are calling. I'll see you later though, love you." She leaves the house, making it dead silent. I start to chop up the onions and bell peppers for the spaghetti, then I get the meat and noodles out.
skip cooking part
I knock on Stokeley's door, and he comes to it. He looks terrible, like he really hasn't been taking care of himself. I push past him and walk in, and his room is dirty as hell. "Dawg, Stokeley, I understand that you're going through it right now but you still have to take care of yourself. This room literally stinks and you look like you haven't done anything for a week. Dinner is ready if you're hungry, but you really need to take a shower, properly rest, and try to get back to how you were before, hygienic wise. This ain't healthy." He sighs as I talk, then goes downstairs to the kitchen. Well, so much for trying.
I then go to Jahseh's room and knock on the door. He answers, and his eyes are bloodshot. His room however, is spotless. Besides the fact that you can tell he was crying, he doesn't look malnourished or anything. "U-uhm dinner is ready. I don't know if you're ready to talk to me yet or anything, and it's fine if you're not, but can you please eat something? You haven't been doing that lately, and it's really important because I don't want you getting sick." He looks at my face for a good minute, then pushes past me to the kitchen. Better than nothing, I think.
I go to my room, tired of everything. I didn't eat yet, but that's just because I'm simply not hungry. "Fucking talk to me please!" I hear yelling from downstairs, making me run down there. Jahseh is staring at Stokeley like he wants to say something, but no words are coming out. "P-please. Something? Anything?" Still nothing. Stokeley mutters a small "fuck", then goes back to his room. I let out a deep sigh and clean his plates as Jahseh eats quietly. I make a small glance at him and he just looks tired.
"Hey, when you're done, get some rest. I don't know if you've had a lot lately, but you look tired." He stares back at me, and after a minute of us staring at each other, I leave and go back to my room.
