Unlikely Star

Original Song

Regionals were quickly approaching. Mr. Schue gave us the difficult task of trying to write our own, original songs to compete with. I hadn't really been able to think of any good song topics that could win us the competition. I was trying to think of things in my own, personal life that could be song-worthy, but I couldn't really think of a hook to a song about being interested in your best friend's boyfriend, although your friend is secretly interested in your other best friend who is dating someone else. It really just doesn't work well.

I walked up to Brittany and Santana, who were talking at their lockers. I waited back for a little because it looked like they were having a serious talk. "Hey guys!" I said as I walked up towards them.

"Hey Mallory." Santana said. Brittany turned away from her and back towards her locker. I started putting in my locker combination when I heard what sounded like, was nails on a chalkboard.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Tweedledum, Tweedledumb-ass, and Tweedle Fake Boobs." I assumed I was just Tweedledum, which I was slightly thankful for.

"You know, you can't talk to us like that anymore. You're not our cheer coach anymore."

"I'm also pretty sure you can't talk to us like that at all." I added in.

"Well I'm not anyone's cheer coach any more. You betrayed me, and if you haven't heard, I like to play dirty." I disregarded her comments and rolled my eyes at her clear annoyance at us. I turned back towards my locker and finished unlocking the door. As soon as I opened the door, a wave of dirt hit me in the face. Luckily, I had closed my mouth before opening it up, which Brittany sadly did not do. The dirt fell down my shirt, pants, and even my shoes. I wiped it away from my eyes and saw that Brittany and Santana were in the same amount of shock as I was.

"I don't even remember putting that in there." Brittany said. I stared at her to see if she would understand what just came out of her mouth. But all she did was cough up more dirt.

***

The next day, I was careful to open up my locker. It was easy to shake the dirt off my clothing, but once I got in the shower, it started to stick to my skin. It smells worse once it's wet than people would think. I made sure to bring extra perfume in my backpack just in case my body wash didn't do the job. Which it must have because I scrubbed myself with my loofah for about thirty minutes.

Mr. Schue handed us some rhyming dictionaries as we walked into the choir room. "All right guys, let's hear it for our first songwriting seminar. While Quinn and Rachel are hard at work, we're going to try to write an anthem of our own. Now these are rhyming dictionaries for all of you."

"Mr. Schue?" Santana asked. "Tina and I have been already working on a song that I wrote."

"Really?" she nodded, "That's amazing! Can we hear it?" Santana stood up, and Tina made her way to the piano.

"This is a song I wrote for Sam." I was confused. I thought that based on last week, she didn't really have feelings for Sam anymore. "It's called Trouty Mouth." My mouth dropped. I saw Sam's face turn from smiling to fear/anger.

"Wait what's it called?" he asked as the slow, jazz melody started playing.

~Trouty Mouth (sung by Santana)~

I had to bite onto the sides of my mouth to contain my laughter. I turned away at some points because the contained laughter caused my eyes to start to water. The song itself was hilarious, but I could tell that Sam was angered by the lyrics. Santana did sound amazing though.

"Okay can we stop?" Sam stood up and walked towards Mr. Schue. "Stop with the mouth jokes."

"Sit down, I'm not finished." Santana barked at him.