Unlikely Star

A Katy or a Gaga

The passing of Finn was difficult. Really difficult. Everyone took it hard. Most of us didn't even talk to each other outside of the choir room, and if we did, each conversation ended talking about Finn, which resulted in awkward silence. But what was nice was knowing that we could all rely on each other when we needed it. Which we desperately did.

But something that Mr. Schue told us was that Finn wouldn't have wanted us to get into a slump and not continue on. He would've wanted us to keep working towards Nationals, and be able to bring the trophy home.

I was warming up my vocal chords with Unique and Marley as Mr. Schue strode into the choir room, beaming with good news. "All right, big week guys. Come on. Gather round. I have here in my hand... drumroll please... a secret list of the show choirs that we will be in competition with at Nationals in six weeks. We've got the Rust-Belters from Pittsburg, the Thunder Showcats from Gainesville, and finally from Fort Wayne, Throat Explosion."

Before any of us could groan in sadness, Tina looked up towards the sky and screamed out, "NO! WHY?!" She seemed the most distressed out of all of us. I had heard about Throat Explosion before, and they were not a team to mess with. They went full out, on and off the stage. I even heard that their coach tried to get them legally emancipated from their parents so that they didn't have to spend weekends and holidays with them.

"Throat Explosion? Is that some kind of joke?"

"Anything but. They're the new supergroup the Show Choir Underground's been buzzing about. Their budgets for costumes, hair, and makeup alone are astronomical. You guys have read that Malcolm Gladwell book Outliers, right?" No one knew what the heck Blaine was talking about. "So, Gladwell says you can't possibly master anything useless you've spent 10,000 hours practcing it. So students can't even join Throat Explosion without proving they've logged in 10,000 hours of show choir rehearsal. I don't even think they go to school."

"We're so screwed. They're not like Vocal Adrenaline, who were unfeeling Borg robots. They're total outsiders and nerds, which used to be our niche. We can't compete with Throat Explosion anymore at that level because we lost our biggest Gaga when Kurt graduated last year."

True. We didn't have that theatricality and extraness that Kurt added to the group. None of us were confident enough to try to step out the box. We were too scared of getting slushied while outside.

"Look around, we're like a room full of Katy Perrys now."

"You better check your spectrum Queen T, because orange is the new black, and Unique is the new Gaga."

"Well not Marley, she's a total Katy Perry."

Okay, what were they talking about? What constitutes a Katy or a Gaga? Was there something specific that you had to possess to be one or the other? I had never in my life heard someone refer to themselves as a Katy. Like I've been saying, I really need to get with pop culture. "So is Sam, so is Blaine."

"I'm a Katy Perry, and I'm proud of it," Blaine added.

"And obviously, Kitty and Jake are a Gaga too. Plus Mallory, expect she's kind of an undercover Gaga. She's not quite out in the open like the rest of us." Welp, I guess I didn't have to figure it out for myself. Tina already assigned me a team.

"The truth is, Tina, we're a potential mix of Katy Perrys and Lady Gagas here. But it's not a liability, it's the way we're going to beat Throat Explosion. Some of us in here are, you know, ambi-edge."

"Ambi-edge? You just made that up."

"Some of us are more, you know, wholesome, innocent, romantic, all-American girl- and boy-next door stereotypes. Who in here would describe themselves as a Gaga?" I slowly raised my hand in unison with Kitty, Tina, Jake, and Unique.