All I Wanted

chapter 3

The next day, Hinata showed up to practice already in his gym clothes, like always.

"Woah, Hinata are you alright?" Tanaka asked, slightly shocked at Hinata's appearance.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Shouyou smiled.

"You look like you got zero sleep!" Tanaka laughed and Hinata joined in by giggling and saying "Hey! That isn't very nice! So what are you saying, I look dead?!"

The mood was completely normal at practice, however, the playing was not. Shouyou could barely jump as high as he usually does and he seemed exhausted after just a few hits.

"For real though, did you get sleep?" Kageyama asked Hinata.

"Yeah! I guess today just isn't my day... but it's okay! That happens to everyone anyways..."

Hinata's pov
I was lying straight to their faces! Saying I was fine and that I wasn't tired. I was drained of energy.

Last night, after sitting on my front porch, I decided that I needed to calm down before I went to bed. My medication was starting to wear off and I knew that since I had a bad day, going inside would lead to me cutting and I didn't want to get in that bad habit again.

Even though I stopped my habit a few years ago, sometimes when I was having a real crappie day, I would give myself a tiny cut. It wasn't enough for it to become a habit again, but it was enough to help me.

So, I went on a run. I wasn't even paying attention to the time or where I was, I just kept running farther and farther. Soon, I realized what I was doing. The time was already 2:47 A.M. and I didn't even know where I was. I was all out of energy and was lost. My thoughts started rushing and one thing lead to another until I had a full blown panic attack. I started sobbing in an alley and sat there crying for a good 20 minutes until I finally decided to try and find my way back home. Once I did, it was already 4:05 A.M. and my medication had completely worn off. So, to calm my nerves, I quietly went into the bathroom and gave myself a big cut on my hip. I usually would only do small cuts, but my day was so bad and I needed to have that stinging pain. I bandaged myself up and went to bed. Then I woke up 3 hours later to my school alarm going off.

So, since I had only gotten an ounce of sleep, I had huge eyebags and was exhausted. I almost fell asleep in all my classes but luckily I was able to keep myself up. When volleyball practice came around, I had contemplated on whether I should go or not but had ultimately decided that I should just go, and that calling off practice would be lame of me. But I soon regretted the decision to go once I had to actually start playing. I felt like I was about to pass out. When my teammates asked if I was okay, I lied to them and said yes. I would've told them that I stayed up all night running around, but I wanted to avoid the question of why I was out so late running around town. I couldn't make a good enough excuse for that question. So, I lied and said I was fine, even though they obviously didn't believe me, it avoided all the questions. So, I didn't care if they knew I was lying. 

When practice was over, Kageyama asked if I wanted to get in a few extra hits. I lied again and said that I couldn't because I had to pick up my younger sister from daycare. I. Lied. Again. AHHHH! I am a horrible lier too! I could only hope he didn't suspect anything, because the truth was that I didn't need to go pick up my sister, I just wanted to go sleep but if I told him that, he would think I was lazy and then start scolding me.

My plan was to just bike home and sleep in my bed for as long as possible, but halfway through my ride, I felt dizzy and then everything went black.

Kageyama's pov
Hinata said he couldn't stay for practice so I decided that I would just toss the ball for a bit. But, after 5 minutes of tossing by myself, I got bored and started walking home. I was silently walking home, enjoying the cold breeze until I saw Hinata on the ground with his bike next to him. Hinata looked like he trying to get up but he just kept falling over.

"Boke? Is that you?" I yelled from a distance and Hinata desperately looked up at me for help. I jogged towards him and was confused as to what happened. I helped him up but he kept tumbling over, having a hard time to sit up straight. I had a lot of questions prepared to ask him but he was very out of it because he wouldn't even speak to me. I asked my first question...

"Are you okay?" I questioned him, but he had no reponse. He just looked confused and out of it. So instead of asking any more questions, I simply told him "Come on, let's get you back home." But he could barely make out what I said and was just standing there, leaning against me since he couldn't even stand up properly. Luckily, a park was right around the corner. So, I dragged him there along with his bike and sat him down on a bench. I was really concerned for him and finally asked my second question...

"Do you need me to call someone? Maybe a doctor or ambulance? You don't look so good..." He stared at me with no expression, lost in his own mind. I was worried so I pulled out my phone to call a hospital but Hinata all of a sudden said "No." I looked at him, confused as ever. I was debating on if I should just go ahead and call someone for help or just wait and see if he was okay. He sat there for a few minutes just staring off in space. I was so shocked that I just sat there next to him, not saying a word. We both quietly sat there for about 5 minutes until I noticed blood on his shirt, on his hip area...