All I Wanted

chapter 16

Kageyama's pov
After witnessing Hinata crying in the bathroom, I couldn't focus for the rest of practice.

"Hey, Kageyama, could you maybe set a little lower... I couldn't even reach the ball!" Tanaka laughed.

"Yeah... sure. Sorry about that." I responded. We continued our practice, and I was still doing awful. But I just couldn't get my mind off of what happened.

Finally, practice was over. I stayed behind with Hinata, until he went over to Coach Ukai. I couldn't hear their conversation, but the faces that were being made worried me.

Coach Ukai listened to Hinata speak for a bit, and then he made a shocked, confused face. Hinata looked down at the floor, he seemed to be very gloomy. Coach Ukai looked at him and said something, and then Hinata nodded his head. What were they talking about?

Hinata walked away from Coach Ukai, his eyes were closed shut and he seemed irritated, but in a sad way. Coach Ukai stood there, his face made it seem like he had just seen a ghost.

I walked up to Hinata, wanting to know what they were talking about. But I figured that I should talk about his pills first.

"Oi! Hinata!" I said, jogging up to him. "Got a minute?" I asked.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

Hinata's pov
I couldn't take the pain anymore. I couldn't handle this. I wanted to die, and I had to die soon. Sometimes, you can't control a person's death, rather its a disease or accident. But other times, you can choose. I had made up my mind that I wanted to pass, and I needed something to motivate me so I didn't change my mind.

After practice, I walked up to Coach Ukai.

"Sir? Do you have a moment?" I asked, staring at the ground.

"What is it Hinata?"

"I know this may shock you but, I have made up my mind..." I choked up trying to finish the sentence, "I am going to quit the team."

Even though I was looking down at my feet, I could feel his expression change. I looked up at him, and his face was in utter disbelief.

"What? Hinata I don't think you've thought this through, I mean-"

"Coach," I said, cutting him off midsentence, "I am quitting the team. It's final." I looked back down.

He sighed in shock.

"Are you sure you want to?" He asked, for a final check, just to make sure.

I nodded my head up and down.

He sighed again... "okay."

I walked off, sealing my eyes shut, trying to stop my tears from pouring. I decided that quitting the team would help me cut off a tie before I did what I wanted to do.

"Oi! Hinata!" I hear Kageyama yell.

"Got a minute?" He asked. I finally opened my eyes and looked up. Kageyama was looking down at me, puzzled as to what was going on.

I quickly wiped my tears dry and responded, "yeah."

We walked outside of the gym, to an area where no one could hear us.

Kageyama's pov
We walked out, and I took him over to where I knew nobody would be around. I was genuinely concerned, but tried to hide it. Before I could even say a word, he looked up at me with a dispirited look.

"I quit the team." He said, and then quickly looked back down.

What. He what? Was he joking around? I didn't even get to say what I originally wanted to! I looked at him, shocked, and then I could feel my own face changing to a furious expression.

"Are you joking? Because that isn't a funny joke." I said, trying to control my anger.

He just continued to look at the ground, not saying a word. I could feel the rage building inside of me.

"DUMBASS, ANSWER ME! WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING? IS IT A JOKE OR NOT?" I shouted at his face and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. He still had no expression on his face, and continued to look down.

"YOU LIER! YOU FILTHY ASSHOLE! WHY WOULD YOU QUIT THE TEAM? WHY? HOW SELFISH AND RIDICULOUS ARE YOU? HUH?! SO TELL ME THAT YOU ARE JOKING AROUND... OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I MIGHT HURT YOU." I screamed in his face. My anger was in full control, and my brain wasn't telling me to stop.

He still had a blank face, but this time, there were tears streaming out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

"GODDAMMIT HINATA! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!" I threw him on the ground out of frustration. He fell, and when he did, his shirt lifted up, revealing about half of his stomach. And what I saw, was truly horrifying.

Hinata's pov
Kageyama stood there looking down at me. I decided that I wanted to be upfront about it.

"I quit the team." I said, avoiding eye contact.

"Are you joking? Because that isn't a funny joke." I could tell he was annoyed by the tone in his voice. I wanted to say something, but my mouth remained shut, and my eyes were glued to the ground. As I expected, he couldn't control his anger anymore.

"DUMBASS, ANSWER ME! WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING? IS IT A JOKE OR NOT?" He screamed in my face, taking me by the collar. My eyes remained looking down, but I could feel the liquid falling down my cheeks.

"YOU LIER! YOU FILTHY ASSHOLE! WHY WOULD YOU QUIT THE TEAM? WHY? HOW SELFISH AND RIDICULOUS ARE YOU? HUH?! SO TELL ME THAT YOU ARE JOKING AROUND... OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I MIGHT HURT YOU." He was furious, but I still remained silent.

"GODDAMMIT HINATA! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!" He shouted, and then pushed me to the ground. I closed my eyes, afraid of what might happen next. I finally looked back up, and I saw him again. I saw my dad, hovering over me. I stared up for a few seconds, and then realized my shirt was up. I quickly pulled it down.

I was unable to get up. I was in too much shock. Where did Kageyama go? He was the one that pushed me... but now I look up to see my father? I started freaking out. My eyes were wide, and my face was frightened.

"D- dad? Why are you h- here? W- why won't you just leave me alone?!" I cried out, choking on my own words, and shutting my eyes. I opened them again, to see Kageyama looking down at me.

Where did my father go?

Kageyama's expression was no longer angry.

He looked confused.

He looked worried.

He looked curious.

He looked sad.

What was going on with me?