All I Wanted

chapter 10

Time skip to the next day, Tuesday...
Hinata stayed home from school that day. But early in the morning, Kageyama walked over to his house to check in with Shouyou.

Kageyama got to Hinata's house, and knocked on the door.

Kageyama's pov
I knocked on the door. I hear a "Coming!" from inside Hinata's house. Miss Hinata opened the door.

"Oh! Hi there! Your Shouyou's friend, right? Was it Tobio... Kageyama, you said?"

"Yes ma'am... I wanted to speak to Shouyou, is he around?" I asked.

"Yes, he is just in his room but, uh- he isn't exactly available right now. You can come by maybe tomorrow? He will be going to school then!" She explained.

Why wasn't he available? He was home, but he wasn't able to see me? Was he avoiding people? Was he avoiding me?

"Oh, uh... yes ma'am. Thank you for your time!" I bowed and walked off.

Hinata's pov
I heard my mom talking to someone. As soon as I heard the other person's voice, I knew it was Kageyama. I peeked out my window to see him walking away. Thank goodness, I didn't want to see anyone right now. A few minutes went by and I got a text message from him...

Kageyama
Hey. I stopped by your house but your mom said you weren't available. Are you okay?

What do I reply with...

"Yeah I am fine, I almost went to a mental hospital though"
...
"Oh yeah it was nothing, sorry for the concern."
...
"I was still sick I guess, haha sorry."

Yeah, no. I can't reply with any of those things, I don't have a good excuse at all. My only option is to ignore his text.

I could've gone to school today, but my mom booked multiple appointments for me to go to, so I just stayed home.

My first appointment was about my medication. The doctors told me I needed a higher dosage, and that I could stop by tomorrow to get my new pills.

My next appointment was for therapy. I hated it. I hate having to talk about myself for a whole hour. Talk about how I slice my skin, how I feel, my thought process. I hated every bit of it. After that appointment, I told my mom that therapy would just make me feel worse, and how I didn't want to go at all. She said "Okay." So I assume that I don't have to go, and that she called it off.

My last appointment for the day was a doctors appointment. The doctor checked all my scars to make sure they were healing properly and not infected. It was the most embarrassing moment. I had to sit there, with my shirt off, as she examined all my marks. Whenever she touched one, I would twitch. The doctor appointment only took about 30 minutes, and the doctor told my mother and I that I was fine. I was relieved that my previous scar that was infected got better.

My mother and I walked home together from the appointments. It was cold out, and the breeze made me shiver. The walk home with my mom was quiet until she broke the silence.

"What is wrong with you? Why do you think it's okay to be doing this to your self?!"

I looked up at her, and she was holding back tears. I looked back down, kicked a rock and said "I don't know."

We both went silent again, and continued our walk.

When we got home, I went straight to my room. I sat on my bed, and stared at my bedroom wall. My life was turning into a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from. My mom finally called me,

"Shouyou! Dinner is ready, get out of your room and help me set the table!"

Family dinner included my mom, Natsu, and I. We rarely ate together as a family because my mom was always at work. So, when the three of us did have dinner together, its almost like an event. My mom cooks up a big meal and we set the table real fancy.

"Alright! I'll be out in a second!" I hollered. I continued to stare at my wall until a few minutes later, my mom walked into my room and says "Shou! Come along, I can't set up the table all by myself!"

"Right! Yes, I am coming!" I said, completely forgetting that she asked for help earlier.

Natsu was already sitting at the table, smiling and looking at the meal my mom had prepared for us. My mother had cooked up some rice, steak, and grilled veggies. The smell was delicious, I almost started drooling. I finished setting up the table, and my mom, Natsu, and I sat down, said grace, and enjoyed our meal together.

Five minutes passed, and not one of us said a word. We were all busy stuffing our faces with food. I finally said,

"Thank you for the meal, mom. It's really tasty!" I smiled at her, my mouth full of food.

"It wasn't too much trouble, and I figured we all needed a little something to get our minds off things." She looked at me, clearly indicating the statement towards me. I smiled at her and continued eating.

Kageyama's pov
Seriously?! It has been almost 12 hours since I sent him a text and he still hasn't responded. I started getting impatient and annoyed, so I decided to walk over to his house.

Even though it was late, dark and cold, I quickly walked over to his home. Before knocking on the door, I looked in through the doors window. I didn't mean to, and I didn't want to seem like I was stalking him, but I couldn't help but look closer. In Hinata's house, I could see him, his sister, and mom eating dinner in their kitchen. They all seemed so happy. They were laughing and smiling at each other.

Hinata seemed fine. He looked perfectly fine and happy. I was worrying myself for no reason. Instead of knocking on the door, I walked away, not wanting to interrupt their family dinner. But it was weird, Shouyou never mentioned or talked about his dad. Not that it was my business, but part of me wanted to know what happened to his father.

Since I was already outside walking around, I decided to go to my "safe space." I got there, sat on the bench, and enjoyed the view.