May we meet again (Clexa)

Chapter 9

It had been ten minutes since Clarke had entered the well crafted, beautifully designed and perfectly laid out office.

It made her wonder really why most therapists like order so much, was it something in them that made them crave it, maybe from a young age their lives were unordered and they found if they helped other people order their lives.

That had to be it because nothing could explain why someone would chose to constantly listen to other people pity themselves, tearing themselves open bare just to sewed back together again.

In the two months Clarke had spent in this place she had learnt that talking wasn't as bad as she had initially thought.

She learnt that Niylah was much fun to be around and there were moments when with her Clarke just smiled without feeling guilty for being alive, guilty for being selfish, guilty for all of it, all the weight on her shoulders seemed to be slowly getting lighter.

"I've managed a black one if that's alright." Niylah announced as she set the two cups of coffee on the table before sitting down with the notebook and pen in her hand.

"It's better than nothing, thanks." Clarke said, she knew it was wrong to have asked for the cofffee, but a part of her wanted to know more about Niylah and what better way than to share a cup of coffee with her.

"So, what do you want to talk about today? The kids are finally coming to see you tomorrow, how do you feel about that?"

"Honestly terrified, but I don't want to talk about me, why are you named Niylah?" She took a sip of the black substance in her cup and sighed with content as it warmed her insides.

Niylah shifted in her seat, unsure if she wanted to answer the question. She was well aware of people like Clarke.

They come in broken and with no one to look to and they find someone who cares for them in her office, but she had to draw the line about talking about her personal life, but somehow as she looked at the woman in front of her, at the progress she had made, she felt unable to deny her this one question.

"My great great grandmother was a warrior in her day, fought in wars and battlefields, and when I was born my parents named me after her, she was powerful and strong and I guess they wanted my name to have a meaning bigger than the actual name." She put the notepad down and took a cup of coffee, Clarke knew putting the notepad down was an invitation to ask more questions.

"Why this? Listening to people moan and groan about their problems, you could have chosen anything?"

"I know how it feels like to not be heard or listened too and most people who come to me need someone to listen and I do that for them. Most of the time they say I've helped them but I haven't done anything, I'm just listening and they do the talking, they put in the effort."

Clarke put the coffee mug down and moved to stand by the window, she stared out at the green trees and plants all around, she looked up at the sky.

"Her name was Lexa and I loved her so much, and she loved me too. We were so happy that it seemed that I had gotten my happy ending but now I realize how stupid I was."

She turned back to look at Niylah, who in turn was looking back at her.

Niylah stood on her feet and moved closer to Clarke, this was the moment she had been waiting for the past two months, the reason Clarke went downhill, and she was opening up about it and Niylah wanted to jump up and down and scream out to the Cosmos, tell it to the whole world that Clarke Griffin was talking about her loss.

"Why do you think you feel that way, stupid?" She asked as she calmed her beating heart down. This was the moment that always made her want to open a bottle of champagne and celebrate, when her patients opened up.