May we meet again (Clexa)

Chapter 14

"Lexa?" She asked, she tried moving closer, but stumbled on thin air, her head spun around and her heart beat way too fast. Lexa is dead, she can't be here, she knew this to her core, she died. Lexa had died.

She felt her body hit the ground, her eyes closing shut and her name being yelled by the woman she thought had died.

Clarke woke up alone in a surprisingly comfortable bed. She sat up and looked to her sides to find her surroundings unfamiliar.

"You're awake." Niylah jumped to her side and sat next to Clarke on the bed, "You had me so worried."

"It wasn't a dream, right?" She asked, she knew clearly it wasn't a dream, she knew that and the thought itself made her heart flutter, because the one thing she has ever dreamt about her whole entire life was happening, Lexa was alive and well and for once in her whole entire life Clarke felt as though the gods themselves had come down for this.

"It wasn't," Lexa spoke up as she moved closer to the two, but not close enough as she stopped midway. "Hi." She whispered

"Hi?!!!" Clarke screamed, "You died, you died and left me alone, left me in pieces and all this time you've been alive!" Clarke spat as she pushed Niylah aside, along with the blanket, she crossed the room and stood in front of Lexa.

A part of her wanted to pull her in a big hug, hold her and tell her it was okay, she wanted to feel Lexa's skin with her hand, wanted to feel if she was really alive.

"Could you give us a sec?" Lexa said, looking at Niylah.

"Sure."

"No, stay." Clarke instructed and Niylah settled back down on the bed, she sank in it, damn, it's comfortable.

"I didn't die, I just made it look like I did,"

"And me? What was I?"

"I loved you, I still do, but my past had caught up with me and I had to protect you by disappearing, by dying
it was the only way to keep you safe."

"So you're saying you faked your own death because some secret spy organization was after you?" Clarke asked sarcastically

"Yes." Lexa stepped closer, she took Clarke's hand in hers and for a second, Clarke wanted nothing, but to kiss her and hold her and tell her it was alright, that they could go home and be a family again, but she knew that's not how it worked.

"We should go. You were right I should have never came here." She stepped out of Lexa's soft touch and grabbed Niylah's hand, pulling her up.

"Can I call you from home?"

"Let's see, no because I'm in rehab after drinking everyday for more than five years after my fiancé went and died, then I lost my friends and family, so no Lexa,  you can't call me from home,"

Clarke kicked the edge of the bed, and screamed in pain as her big toe throbbed,"Dammit!!" She screamed

"I was getting over you, I was and then... I should have never come here, Niylah was right, she was right... She was--" Clarke took in deep breaths, but the more she did the more she felt like oxygen was disappearing, she bent down, putting her hands on her knees whilst hyperventilating.

"Hey hey, look at me." Niylah took hold of  Clarke's hands and pulled her up. "My eyes, give me their color."

"Blue, really blue and big."

"Yeah, they're blue and super big because I'm worried." Niylah gave half a smile, "I'm here, just breathe okay and if you want to talk we'll talk and if you want to leave we can leave, but just calm down."

"Okay," Clarke said, taking a sit on the bed, she collected her thoughts, taking deep breaths, until she felt better.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"I'm not sure." Lexa replied, "I was away for so long that I thought coming back in your life wouldn't be fair."

"I hate you." Clarke said, standing to her feet and looking out the window. "I hate you so much."

"No, you don't." Lexa whispered softly.

"No, I don't,"

"I don't understand, he tried to kill you." Clarke looked back at the woman she loved, loves? She had no clue.

"He saved me, the people I worked for were tying up some loose ends and I was one of them, but he saved me, If I'd known I would have come. "

"Yeah, I don't know about that... I should probably go now, before they find out I'm gone."

"Are you two together?" Lexa asked, fearing they'd say yes, she looked over at Niylah first then shifting her eyes to Clarke.

Clarke remained quiet as she had no idea what the answer was to that question. She liked Niylah, she was good for her, but it was just one kiss and it probably didn't mean anything after the discovery she just had.

"No," Niylah replied after some time, "I'm her therapist and she's right we should go."

Saying their short goodbyes Clarke and Niylah made their way out of the house and into the car, they drove silently, stopping only when the robots turned red.

After some time Clarke finally looked at Niylah, but Niylah refused to look back at her.

"You're not just my therapist." Clarke finally said, "I know too much about you for you to be just my therapist."

Niylah remained silent, she knew Clarke was right, they were beyond just patient and psychologist, but she had to draw the line and push them back to that, better yet she wanted them to go back to being strangers because strangers are so much better.

"You do know what happens next, right?" Niylah said, still looking at the road.

"No," Clarke answered innocently.

"I recommend you to another psychologist, Clarke an-"

"No!" Clarke cut her off, "You can't."

"I have to, so many lines have been blurred between the two of us and I can't be good at my job if I don't play by the rules."

"So just like that, you're leaving me."

"I'm still going to be your friend," Niylah said, but Clarke wouldn't have it, she really needed a drink at the moment, she craved it, her mind was reeling and the only way to come herself down was just one drink and she'd be fine.