Reflect // Van McCann

24. Messages for Van

*Amy's POV*

It was now Saturday, one day before I was planning on getting my mom to forgive herself. My stomach was in knots from the nerves and I found it hard to hold down food. In all honestly—this is probably how prisoners on death row feel in the days leading up to their execution except I wasn't being executed.

Earlier in the week, I spent a lot of time talking to Bondy, telling him everything I knew about the mirror and how all the worlds worked together. I made him promise not to tell Benji, Bob, or Natalie. If they knew what I was planning to do, they'd be upset about me leaving which might make me change my mind and not go through with it. Luckily Bondy was indifferent. Sure he was sad about me leaving but he was excited for what was next for me.

"Tell him I'm still feeding the geese and squirrels. That'll rile him up. And tell him I'm terrible with plants and that I burned his book of lyrics," he joked and I laughed.

I haven't laughed in weeks. I'm definitely going to miss Bondy the most out of all the boys. Over the years, I've come to love Bondy for who he is. Back then, I thought he was weird but have come to love him and his humor despite him not being quite right in the head.

"You're mad," I told him, shaking my head.

"Eh, tell me something I don't know." Bondy put the cigarette back in his mouth and exhaled the smoke.

"He's doing well, y'know," I told him. I don't know what prompted me to tell him but I wanted him to know how Van was doing because it'll be a while before he'll see him again. "He bought a dog a month ago and is having a grand time with the dog, treating her like a baby. I'm actually excited."

Despite being hesitant and scared of leaving behind everything I was familiar with, I have to admit I was excited about going to paradise. Everything was new to me and I wasn't going to be on my own. I'll have Van who will be there to show me how things worked and I miss him so much. As soon as I see him, I'm going to hug him and never let go.

Of course I didn't stop thinking about what life would be like without me around. Since Adam will eventually find out, will that make him curious about the mirror again? I didn't want to think about the ruckus he'd cause if he found out it's working again.

"If there's anything you want to tell Van, let me know," I told him.

Bondy spoke right away as if he was thinking about it his entire life. "Tell him what I said earlier and tell him I love and miss him, and that I'll see him soon. This isn't the last he'll see of me. There's no running away from Bondy!"

I tried to imagine Van's reaction to what I'll be telling him and I laughed. I was imagining Van being confused about why he was oddly touched by Bondy's words. I mean c'mon, how could you not? Even though Bondy's a little crazy, everyone needs a little crazy in their life or else it'll be boring.

"I'm going to miss you Bondy," I said, looking straight ahead. I knew if I looked at him, I was going to cry. "I admit when I first met you, I thought you were weird. But over the years, I've come to learn that you're a good person with a big heart. You always know what to say and you never question us when we ask you to do things for us. You always have our backs and for that, I am forever grateful that you have been a part of my life. I don't want to say goodbye because I know eventually your time will come and you'll join us. Tell Benji, Bob, and Natalie to not be hurt that I didn't say goodbye because I'm a wimp and am afraid I won't be able to go through with it if they knew."

Bondy pulled me into a hug and I closed my eyes, the tears I've been trying to hold back spilling onto my cheeks.

"My dear Amy, you are the sweetest," Bondy spoke, holding onto me. "I'm glad we met and you can guarantee I'll see you again in paradise so you still have to put up with me and my antics."