my hero academia 𝕏 depressed reader

11

⚠️TW SELF HARM AND SUICIDE⚠️

(Y/N P.O.V.)

I had been in the dorm rooms for about five minutes or so. I remembered that Aizawa had said I should eat something so I went to the kitchen and made some toast. After I had finished the toast I felt sick. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.
'I'm so fat' I thought to myself
I walked over to the toilet and made myself sick.

I went back to my dorm and got changed into a (f/c) hoodie and some black leggings. I picked up my phone and my purse and walked to the store.
It's only lunch time now so I had a few hours before everyone went back to the dorms.

When I got into the store I went to the health section and found the razor blades. I picked up two packets cause there wasn't many in a packet.

I walked up to the till and set down the razor blades.
"$4.20"
I handed over a $5 bill. The cashier handed me the blades in a bag.
I left the store and dropped the change into my bag.

I got back to the dorms and went to my room. I opened the blades. If I put them in the drawer again Bakugo or Iida would find them. I picked up a book and set a few of the razors down flat in between the front cover and the title page. I put the rest of the blades in the drawer in the girls bathroom because I knew someone would use them.

I went back to my room and rolled up the sleeve of my hoodie. I opened the book and lifted one of the blades. I cut quite a few lines into my arm. I realised how much my arm was bleeding and ran to the bathroom to run my arm under the tap.

I turned on the cold water and put my arm under the tap. It was stingy. I watched the maroon liquid mix into the water and fade away. I looked like it had stopped bleeding. It looked very deep, I hadn't really cut that deep before.

I lay down on my bed and thought. I didn't realize but I was thinking of killing myself. I had it in my head that I would jump off the rooftop of the school. Before I knew it I was planning when I would do it.
Tomorrow, sundown, after school. Nobody would be there and I'd get to see the sun go down one last time.

I heard a knock on my door. I got up and opened it.
It was Bakugo.
"Hey (y/n), I just came to check you were ok."
I hugged him tightly.
"I just need to not be alone right now" I said with tears welling up in my eyes.
"Ok, do you want to go into your room."
I nodded. We both walked in and sat on my bed.
"Have you cut yourself again?" He asked.
I nodded.
"Can I see?"
I rolled up my sleeve showing the deep cuts I had made on my arm.
He looked a little shocked.
"(Y/n) that looks pretty deep..." He said in a worried tone.
"S-sorry." I said
"Can I go and get Iida to bandage it up for you?"
"Uhm-" I didn't want to worry Iida anymore than I had worried Bakugo.
"Please, I just want to help you." He said
"O-ok.." I said reluctantly.
"Ok I'll go and get him."
He got up to leave but then stopped and turned around.
"Do you have anything in here you can use to hurt yourself while I'm gone?"
"No." I lied
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Then what did you use?"
I had forgotten about that part.
"Ok fine I do."
"Can I have it?"
I opened the drawer and lifted out the book I had hidden the blades in. I only lifted one leaving 4 behind.
"Here." I handed him the blade that still had a small amount of blood on it.
"Thank you." He said.
"I'll be back in a minute."
He walked out the door closing it behind him.

(BAKUGOS P.O.V)

I walked out of (y/n)'s dorm to go and get Iida. I arrived at his door and knocked on it hard.
"IIDA" I screamed. He opened the door.
He looked at me with a slightly worried expression. It's like he already knew why I was there.
"She's cut pretty deep." I said panicking a little.
"They're Not bleeding there from about an hour ago but I'm still worried."
Iida walked back into his room and lifted the first aid kit.
"Let's go then." He said also panicking a little.

We arrived at (y/n)'s dorm and walked inside.

(Y/N P.O.V)

I had been crying after Bakugo left and I didn't realise they were outside. They opened the door and I quickly wiped the tears away from my eyes.
"(Y/n) were you crying?"asked Iida
"No" I said with a slight sniffle

Iida walked over and sat beside me.
"Can I see?" He asked.
I rolled up my sleeve revealing the deep cuts I made earlier.
Iida looked a little shocked like Bakugo did.
He opened the first aid kit and took out the same cleaning solution from before. He gently started to clean one of the wounds.
"OW-" I screamed. It stung really bad and started bleeding again.
Iida quickly pulled some kind of gauze out from the first aid kit and pressed down on it.
"Sorry." He said
"It's fine don't worry it's my own fault."
After about 2 minutes it hadn't stopped bleeding.
"I think we might need to go to recovery girl." Iida said
"No I don't want anyone else to see!" I said sounding pretty worried.
I stared feeling dizzy and realised it was bleeding pretty badly.
"I'll go get her." Bakugo said while leaving the room.
He left the door open slightly by mistake.
I started crying again.
"(Y/n) what's wrong?" Iida asked
I couldn't even talk I just felt so guilty.
I heard the door creak open a little and then heard a worried voice.

"Oh my god are you ok?!"
It was Kirishima
How am I supposed to make an excuse for this. My sleeves rolled up showing my arm full of cuts and one of them bleeding and Iida holding a gauze on it.
Kirishima closed the door behind him. It took him a second to process what was happening.
"(Y/n) are you ok?" He asked
He looked like he was on the brink of tears.
I just burst into tears. I didn't even know what to say anymore.
He hugged me tightly.
"I'll do whatever I can to help you, ok?"
I nodded.
Soon after Bakugo came back with recovery girl.
She looked a little worried but didn't speak much. Kirishima realised me from the hug and recovery girl took over the gauze Iida was holding on my arm. She lifted the gauze to look at the cut. It wasn't bleeding as much now.
"You might need stitches in this sweetie" she said
"O-ok.." I said quietly.
She put a cream on to my arm to numb it and started to stitch the cut closed.
Bakugo and Kirishima sat beside me and Bakugo held my hand tightly.
When she was finished doing the stitches she wrapped a bandage around it. She said she would have to tell Mr Aizawa.

She left the room and the three guys stayed in my room with me.
"I'll be going now." Said Iida
"(Y/n) please tell me when you feel like doing that so I can try and help you ok?" He said while leaving.
I nodded my head.
He walked out the door and closed it behind him.

Bakugo and Kirishima we're both sitting beside me on the bed.
Bakugo said basically the same as what Iida said before he left.
"(Y/n) please tell me when you feel like that. I hate knowing you feel like that. Promise me?"
I nodded.
He did the same as Iida and left. I could tell he was angry with himself. Kirishima looked at me with a sad look on his face.
"(Y/n), why do you do that?" He asked.
I didn't want to cry again, so I tried my best to keep it in.
"It just helps me feel ok... Even if it's just for a minute. I forget everything that's bothering me and I just can't get the same feeling from anything else..."
He turned my head to look at him.
"(Y/n) I promise you I'll do whatever it takes to hell you." He hugged me again and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.
"I--i'm s-sorry..."
"No don't be it's ok, just please come to me or Bakugo or something when you feel like doing that. I can't stand seeing you in pain like that." I could tell he was on the verge of tears by his voice. I felt guilty, that was another person I had worrying about me.

He realised me from the hug.
"I should probably get going now."
"Ok." I said.
"See you later (y/n)!"
He walked out the door and closed it behind him.

I lay down on my bed. I couldn't shake the guilty feeling I had. There was so many people worrying about me now but, it wouldn't matter, it would all be over soon anyways.