my hero academia 𝕏 depressed reader

13

⚠️TW SUICIDE AND SELF HARM⚠️

(Y/N P.O.V.)

It had been about a week and a half since what happened on the rooftop. They eventually got a hold of my mother. She knows about the cutting but had no idea how bad it is. She also knows that I tried to jump off a building but doesn't know that I actually jumped off she just thinks someone caught me before I tried to. She called me to ask if I was alright since while she could. I just told her I was stressed out and she believed me. The call lasted 2 minutes before she had to go back to work.

Mr Aizawa gave me 3 days off school to 'Clear my head' which I just spent in bed. Bakugo and kirishima came in to check on me regularly after school and would stay with me for an hour or 2 to make sure i was ok. Then at 7:00pm every night Iida would come in to check I didn't have any blades I could use and that I hadn't done anything. I hated how there was a routine but it changed a bit once the 3 days were over.

When I went back to school Aizawa signed me up to see the school counselor weekly. Everyone in the class just assumed I was sick when I was off for 3 days. Everything was stressing me out so much. Even the simplest things like homework or training. I still wanted to die regardless of how guilty it made me feel. I still have one blade left hidden under a plant pot in my dorm. I'm still cutting a lot. It's the only thing making me feel somewhat ok.

I keep thinking about what happened on the rooftop. It makes me feel really guilty. But I deserve to feel guilty, I'm just a burden on everyone.

It was the end of the school day I got back to my room, shut the door and threw my bag on the ground like usual. I slammed myself on to my bed face down and cried into my pillow. I got up with tears running down my cheeks and got the blade from underneath the plant pot. I sat on my bed, rolled up my sleeve and cut myself a few times. I was cutting quite a bit deeper than I used to now so I had to bandage them afterwards. I opened a drawer and took out the bandages. I wrapped them around my arm. A little blood seeped through but not much. Then I heard a bang on the door.
Bakugo or kirishima must have come early.
"Just a sec!" I shouted.
I quickly put the blade under the plant pot and then the door banged open. It was bakugo.
"You better not be doing anything stupid." He said in his usual angry tone.
He looked over to my bed to see the box of bandages. He walked over and picked them up. He threw them back down on to the bed and then looked at me.
"Let me see."
"It's fine I was just tidying one of my drawers-"
"(Y/n) let me see!"
A tear rolled down my cheek.
"It's fine- I'm fine!"
He threw the bandages down on to the bed and walked over to me. He grabbed my wrist and rolled up my sleeve, I flinched in pain. He rolled up the wrong sleeve. He wasn't stupid though. He grabbed my other arm gently this time. He rolled up the sleeve revealing the bandages with a little blood on them.
He looked at them and then hugged me tightly.
"Please stop doing that..."
I started crying really hard.
"BUT ITS THE ONLY THING HELPING ME FEEL OK. IM SO SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME. I WISH IIDA DIDNT CATCH ME!"
He looked at me with tears in his eyes.
I kept crying and then started to feel dizzy. I started to wobble and then fell a bit but bakugo quickly caught me.
He lifted me bridal style and set me on my bed.
I curled up into a ball. I kept crying while bakugo hugged around me and tried to calm me down.
I just don't understand why he's so angry with everyone else and is so nice to me. I stayed in my head thinking about everything for what felt like seconds.
I snapped out of my train of thoughts and went back to reality. Remembering what was happening.
Everything that was happening started rushing back to me. I started panicking.
My breathing started getting faster,
I was getting even more dizzy by the second,
I had that sick feeling in my stomach like something awful was about to happen.
The ball I was curled up in tightened as my ears started ringing. I covered me ears. I felt the tears rolling down my Cheeks get thicker and my mouth became dry.
Bakugo realised what was happening.
"shit." He mumbled to himself.