my hero academia 𝕏 depressed reader

16

(⚠️TW EATING DISORDERS AND SELF HARM⚠️)

(Y/N P.O.V.)

I got up the next morning and felt a sharp pain in my arm. I remembered what had happened yesterday and it lowered my mood a little more than it usually was. I sighed and got out of bed. I looked at my arm where the wound from yesterday was and saw that there was a little blood on the bandages.

"Shit..." I said under my breath

I know that kirishima and Bakugo both told me yesterday that I wasn't a burden but I still felt like it. I still felt like everyone would be better off if I just disappeared....

I went to the girls bathroom and locked the door behind me. I opened one of the drawers to look for the razors and saw that nobody had taken them after yesterday to my suprise.

I rolled up my sleeve and carefully picked up one of the razors in the small box. I dragged it across my arm watching the dark red beads of blood form in a line on my arm. I did it a few more times until I was satisfied. I took a sigh of relief as I felt the heavy feeling lift from my chest. I put the blade back in the box and sat on the floor for a few minutes, savouring the feeling of calmness the fresh cuts on my arm had brought. I soon felt the calm feeling leave as all the thoughts and feelings came back to me.

'look what you just did'

'your so selfish'

'your an awful person'

A tear rolled down my cheek. Then I heard banging on the door.

"Hurry up I gotta get readddyyy" I heard mina groan from the other side of the door.

"Sorry!" I shouted back.

I rolled down my sleeve in hurry, not bothering to tend to the wounds I had made on my arm. I unlocked the door and saw mina standing there in her pajamas.

"(Y/n) you ok? You look like you've been crying."

'yeah just another night of crying and no sleep only to be dragged out of bed and forcing myself to put on a smile for everyone.'

"Yeah I'm fine, just got to bed a little late that's all." I said adding a smile to make it seem believable.

"Ah ok, see you at breakfast." She smiled walking into the bathroom.

"See ya." I said back with another fake smile. I walked back to my dorm and put on my uniform.

After I put on my uniform I had to go to breakfast. Breakfast was always a challenge because I had to make an excuse for not eating, eating very little or forcing myself to eat and puke it up again. It was easier at lunch because I could just say I forgot lunch money and at dinner I normally would say I have homework and I'll eat later which I never do. It was the habit I had gotten myself into without realising. It started off as forgetting about food because of how I felt and then that turned into wanting to loose weight without me realising.

I got to the table and sat in between Kirishima and mina. Iida set a plate of food in front of me. I ate a slice of toast and decided that I had enough. I started to get up to put my plate beside the sink to be cleaned when Kirishima stopped me.

"(Y/n) are you not gonna eat that?" He asked sounding a little worried and confused.

"I'm just not to hungry at the minute." I replied.

"But you should still try to eat." He responded.

There was no point in arguing with him.

"Ok." I sat down and finished my breakfast. Then I put my plate beside the sink.