Mo Dao Zu Shi Stories

Xichen's heart part 3 (finale)

Xichen sits in his room with the smell of sandalwood lacing the entire area. His sword and flute both resting on their stands, and his hands laid flatly against his knees. He had been meditating for quite a while, and in the end it did not fully help to calm his mind. But it was not his  mind that really needed calming, it was more of his heart that needed to be calmed. He had overheard Jiang Cheng's conversation with Wei Wuxian and his brother, but could not really bring himself to step in. Now he could only await to see what the Yunmeng Sect Leader would decide in regards to his own feelings for him if he had any feelings at all. Xichen on the other hand was a bit confused with his own heart. 

It's not like he had that much of an attachment to Jiang Chang like he had with Jin Guangyao. However, the interactions that they have had that were very few, offered a sort of comfort to him. He may not have liked his brother, but he had no major problems with Xichen in the slightest. Of course Xichen would be the one to be in his presence more so than Wanji, but even so there was not as much tension. And during the times that Wanji was locked away after the passing of Wei Wuxian, he would speak with him. He would not say much, and would often poke at the punishment as being correct, but he would not go beyond that. And then after this incident he tries to comfort him again over losing his best friend, and truthfully someone he loved. These interactions were small, but they were precious to him. These emotions were his only focus. And now he knew that this was true. These feelings one could only call love. Something that brought warmth to his life the moment the world turned cold.

"This is my answer, and now I must face it. I must see him," 

However, the moment he prepares to stand a knock sounds at the door. He stands up and walks over to the door and opens it. And standing in the doorway was Jiang Chang.

"Mind if I have a talk with you?" he asks. 

Xichen nods and steps aside for him. He slides the door shut and goes back over to his spot and sits. Jiang Chang sits across from him and sets his sword down beside him. 

"What would you like to discuss?"

For a moment he was silent, but then he finally takes a breath in as he looks up to him. 

"I want to discuss the events of last night and this morning. As much as we both are still dealing with some hard emotions, but this needs to be addressed. What did you mean by you did not want to remove the headband?"

Xichen sighs softly through his nose as he removes his headband.

"Sect Leader-"

"Just....call me Jiang Chang...for now no need for formalities.."

"Heh..very well. Jiang Chang...allow me to go ahead and say this. I will admit that my feelings were small in the beginning. At first I thought you were just interesting considering how you interacted with Wei Wuxian, Nie Huisang, and Wanji. You three were the kind of young men that I believe my brother needed to have as companions. However, in time we have had very few interactions until you became the sect leader. Our interactions were small and were mainly involving our clans. At that time I honestly wanted to reach out to you because you....just seemed a bit lost. And lonely. I wanted to get the chance to speak with you, and possibly form something there. A small friendship maybe. But you were so stubborn and cold, and hard to really attach to. Yao.....would often tell me to leave you be. After all you had the weight of the world on your shoulders. And i understood that....because I was being pressed by heavy weight....as well. Before the war, my clan was destroyed....i was separated from home....i knew my father was not going to make it. Upon my return and yours, I had collected an army, and you also joined. Once everything was over and everything settled....you were not the only one having to come to a decision about their family,"

Jiang Chang sat in silence as he listened. 

"Wanji wanted to help Wei Wuxian. He wanted to keep him close. Lock him away to protect him from what was going to come to him. And he failed at that task...i understand you felt betrayed because of how wei wuxian was carrying himself. But understand...his morals were in the right place. Cultivation was about protecting the weak and innocent, and apparently everyone had suddenly forgot about that and attacked him. Killed him. Destroyed his second family. Wanji was devastated and wounded several of our elders. As punishment he was whipped....for the amount of elders he had wounded...." his voice drops for a moment as he sighs heavily at the memory. "I watched him take it. He'd rather have that pain, and that isolation...because he knew  that everything was wrong. And he was so...stuck on it. To watch him be tormented so heavily had hurt very much. When Wei Wuxian returned, he was ecstatic. And no one could tell but me. He found his love. Again. But your hatred was still brewing even after so long. And you were just not willing to hear anything. I wanted to speak with you about that...and never fully could. And when everything suddenly came up with Jin Guangyao...I suddenly grew to understand more where you came from and where my brother came from. At the same time I just watched you. You really are strong and tough, but also kind when it counts. And I envy that entire structure, but at the same time I want to change it. When you spoke with me, I felt more of that need to really attach myself to you. And....I never thought it would be...like this. This feeling of...love."

Jiang Chang feels his cheeks flare up from light pink to bright red to a darker shade.

Xichen merely smiles at him and takes his hands. There were no more words that needed to be said. He lifts the headband and ties his wrists together.

"W..wait-!"

With no more doubts being felt he lays him back against the floor as he kisses him deeply. Jiang Chang struggles a bit closing his eyes tightly, but when his gaze falls upon Xichen's he could see a lovely soft soul. Eyes that are shining and really looking into him entirely. Jiang Chang relaxes for a moment before closing his eyes again. Xichen pulls back and allows him to breathe as he leans over and immediately bite his neck.

"Ah! W..wait don't-!"

Xichen chuckles gently.

"Careful with your voice,"

"W...what?"

"Jiang Chang...as of now...you're mine. Do you accept...?"

Jiang Chang sighs softly, but nods slowly no longer fighting off the feeling inside of him.

"Thank you..." 

'You're such an odd person. Gently approaching others and seeming to not be bothered by a lot. When it counts you understand everything. And are a protector of those close to you. And your failures pushed you to be better, but you never realized it. You could have turned out like me, but you did not. That is what makes you stronger than me....Xichen'