Starforce Stories

Birthday

   One Hala Day, Vers walked into the Helion and saw something that made her stop in her tracks. Her heart shattered into a billion teeny pieces.

For all her snacks that she had hidden in her locker were now strewn out on the briefing holo-table!

"My snacks! WHyyy??" she yelled. "Who did this? WHO GETS THE FIST?!" she raised her arm and let it glow blindingly white.

Korath, who was standing there, shielded his eyes. "Relax. We had need of the snacks for today."

"In case you don't know, which I'm sure you don't because you're too lazy to mark a date on your calendar, today is Att-Lass's birthday," said Minn-Erva, walking in. "We needed some junky food for our little celebration and you just happened to have some. Don't worry, you'll be compensated for it, commander's orders. Though in MY opinion, an official member of Starforce shouldn't even have a stash of snacks. It's undignified and unprofessional."

"Wow, thanks for the little speech," Vers replied, who had been scrolling around on her wrist-display looking for memes. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but I AM dignified and professional." She walked over to the new snack table and tossed a piece of popcorn into the air. She missed it with her mouth and it landed on the floor.

Minn-Erva sighed. Then she checked the time. "Att-Lass was given permission to sleep in today. He'll probably be reporting in within the next 15 minutes, so let's make sure everything is ready."

"What exactly is 'everything'?" Vers asked. She had already powered through half the popcorn.

"We made him a cake," said Korath.

"And this commemorative party hat," added Bron-Char, walking in. He held up a cardboard-looking hat that had been cut up and painted to look like a generic Starforce star.

"Well, that's - how do I put this nicely - terrible," said Vers.

Just then Yon-Rogg came in. "Come on now Vers, Bron-Char worked hard on that. Didn't he?"

Bron-Char nodded and then sniffed. "I thought it was good..."

"Come on Bron-Char, it's fine. Vers just doesn't realize how she makes other people FEEL," said Minn-Erva, and led Bron-Char out of the room after giving Vers a death glare.

"Hm, I can't help but feel like Minn-Erva was trying to get at something there..." Vers said.

Yon-Rogg looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" she said. "I didn't do anything."

"If I may say," said Korath, "these crackers are very good."

"Hey, quit eating my snacks!" Vers yelled, grabbing the box away. After stuffing a handful in her own mouth, she said, "How did you guys even know I had a stash?"

Korath looked at Yon-Rogg, who cleared his throat and looked around a little bit.

"SERIOUSLY YON-ROGG!?!? YOU BETRAYED ME?!" Vers shouted.

"What? I ordered Korath to buy you more," he defended.

"I hope you haven't always been stealing my snacks," she said mock-threateningly. "What occasion did you have to be in my locker anyway?"

"Um..." he began.

Just then Att-Lass walked in.

Minn-Erva and Bron-Char busted in. A poof of silver confetti exploded into the air. Korath produced a cake from behind his back. Everyone shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ATT-LASS!!"

"What in the $%&$&!!" shouted Att-Lass.

"Woaahhh dude!" shouted everyone.

"Uh, sorry, I just wasn't expecting this," said Att-Lass. Bron-Char plopped some poorly-made cardboard hat on his head. "Uh, thanks."

"You're welcome, lad," said Bron-Char.

"We've got snacks," said Korath.

"And some special birthday cake," added Minn-Erva.

"Happy birthday, bro. Don't eat the popcorn," said Vers.

"I'm glad to have you as my subordinate," said Yon-Rogg.

Vers looked at him. "That sounded very classy," she said.

"Thank you. I practiced it," he replied with a conspiratorial smile.

Korath cleared a space on the party table and set the cake down. It was two-layered and covered in green-and-black icing. A silver star was piped smack-dab on top.

"Wow. That's a Starforce cake through-and-through," said Vers, peeping at it. Then she ran to the kitchen and came back with several spindly candles. She stuck them unceremoniously into the cake.

"Vers!" shouted Minn-Erva, who had been photographing it. "You just ruined the general aesthetic."

"Aesthetic schmaesthetic," Vers replied. Then she laughed. "Ha. Try saying that ten times fast."

Then she ignited her fist and sent a blast at the cake.

That turned out (big surprise) to be a mistake. The heat lit up the candles, but also the entire cake. And then it exploded. Frosting splatted everywhere and everyone. The candles turned to ash, some of which lightly settled like snow on Yon-Rogg's hair. Somehow no frosting had hit him though. Maybe it was his aura of superiority.

Everyone looked at Vers. Minn-Erva had the most horrified look on her face the galaxy had ever known. She pawed at her frosting-caked hair and then said, "You know? I'm not even going to bother." She turned and tromped out.

To everyone else's surprise, Att-Lass started laughing. He laughed long, hard, and loud, until popcorn juice came out of his nose. (Or maybe it was something else. I dunno.) He wiped his eyes. Some frosting came off. He licked it. "Mmm. I have to say, this has been quite the birthday surprise. Thank you everyone, especially Vers, for making it interesting."

Vers relaxed a little bit. "Hehe, uh, you're welcome."

Bron-Char looked confused. Korath looked just as much like an emotionless rock as he always did, even with a pile of green frosting on his bald head. Yon-Rogg looked at the scene with an amused sparkle in his golden eyes.

"Well, I suppose we can all enjoy the snacks now, with a side of frosting. Which is on ourselves," said Att-Lass.

So they all sat and ate and talked about boring things, while Vers tried to monitor their snack activity. Eventually Minn-Erva came back after showering, and was completely flabbergasted to find them all still covered in frosting.

"I can't believe this. Suddenly everyone lets Twinklefists get away with outlandish stuff?" she asked.

Yon-Rogg turned to her. "Minn-Erva, sometimes the unexpected is what we need to broaden our horizons," he said.

"...What?" she said, blinking.

"SKRULLS!!" shouted Att-Lass.

Everyone jumped up and drew their weapons, taking defensive stances. Just one big troop of frosting-covered Starforce members.

In the corner was a pile of scrolls.

"Oh sorry, I was just studying some ancient texts again," said Bron-Char, scooping up the scrolls. "My bad."

Everyone grumbled about the adrenaline rush which they didn't need. "Why did you feel the need to shout it so loud that there was a pile of paper on the floor?" asked Vers.

Att-Lass tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I dunno," he said. "Surprise?"

THE END!