Bar

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Today's Pic: Fanart of Vers, obviously! (unsure of source)

A/N: This is a shorter story adapted from something else I wrote, so because of that the characters may be a little OOC this time around.  :/

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  One Hala Day, Yon-Rogg unwrapped a delicious ration bar. Normally ration bars weren't delicious, because they were designed to keep you going on the battlefield, but these were a more sugary type that Starforce issued and just didn't bother to change the name. Anyway...

Vers' head slowly rose up above Yon-Rogg's head, observing every movement of the bar.

When it was just about to reach his mouth, she finally exclaimed, "Whatcha doing, Commander?!"

Yon-Rogg threw his bar up in the air, and then caught it upside-down. The bar slid out of the wrapper and landed on the floor.

"Ooh, pity," said Vers.

"Vers!! I don't appreciate being startled! And you should know fairly well what I was doing!" Yon-Rogg yelled, picking his bar up and blowing the dust off. "I mean...I wasn't startled. Just slightly surprised. In fact, I'm incapable of being startled."

"Uh-huh, yeah, sorry, sorry. I just noticed that you were eating the caramel flavor, and that happens to be MY FAVORITE!!" Vers exclaimed.

Just then, Att-Lass walked in holding a caramel bar. "Did someone say caramel??" he asked with his mouth full.

"Att-Lass, only unprofessional dweebs talk with their mouths full, right?" said Minn-Erva, walking in, and also holding a caramel bar.

"Both of you?!" Vers gasped (at their bars).

"What?" said Att-Lass, biting his bar. Visible bits of chocolate and nuts spread out into the fresh air, glittering in the sunlight streaming from the exit hatch. They managed to float far enough to settle like snow in Yon-Rogg's hair.

"Who's littering in here?" asked Korath, appearing there. He had in his hand...a caramel bar.

"Not you too!!" Vers cried.

"What?" said Korath, biting his bar. Caramel oozed out of it in a perfect stream that ran like tree sap.

"That's it!! I can't take it anymore!" cried Vers. She ran to the kitchen and looked in their box of not-really-ration bars. She found many nutpea-butter-flavored ones...but not a single caramel one.

"Oh, the barmanity!!" she cried.

The whole team was now peeping their heads around the corner.

"Is there something the matter, little lass Vers?" asked Bron-Char. He was the only weirdo who was eating a nutpea butter bar.

"Yes," replied Vers faintly.

"If you're sorrowful about the bars, I can give you this dirty one," said Yon-Rogg with a little smile, holding out his bar that he had dropped.

"That's nice of you, Yon, but I don't really want that one," replied Vers.

"Well, me and Korath are too mature to be nice," said Minn-Erva. Then she evilly devoured the rest of her bar.

"I could go buy some more if you'd like," offered Att-Lass. "...in three weeks, when we need more groceries."

Vers sighed and stared at the bar box longfully.

"HOLD UP!!" interrupted Korath. "What is this, a soap opera? You are all forgetting that I can simply order a bar...on the Halanet!"

He pulled up his wrist display, booped a button, and lo! A bar somehow appeared right next to Vers.

She looked at it and then screamed so loud Minn-Erva's rifle broke.

*TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY*

Att-Lass uncovered his ears. "That clocked in at 136 decibels," he whispered to Bron-Char.

"IT'S...IT'S...A BAR!!" screamed Vers. She grabbed it and slowly, slowly began eating it.

"Ugh, like a flerken devouring a Skrull in the form of an abilisk," said Korath.

"Would you maybe not forget next time that the Halanet exists, Korath? It would be appreciated," said Minn-Erva. (In case you're wondering, during the technical difficulties, Minn-Erva screamed bloody murder at Vers and then got a new rifle.)

"Sorry. But you forgot too," replied Korath.

"Great, so with that, the matter is settled," Yon-Rogg interjected. "I feel like I could go for some real food now... let's go find some hedgehog goulash."

"Uh, why hedgehog goulash?" asked Vers. "And how do you even know what a hedgehog is?"

"Classified," answered Yon-Rogg mysteriously.


THE END!

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A/N #2: You gotta be insanely smart (or really just cued in) to get that reference at the end, sooo...sorry!  :)

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