Fighting the Disquiet

23

"You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened...or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on."

-Tupac Shakur

After buying me fro-yo and talking about random nonsense in Decker's car, he dropped me off at home with a kiss goodnight that was far too short. I didn't really know what to expect as my dad dropped me off at school to attend Decker's swim meet. I know that he is competing in two different races: freestyle and butterfly. When I walked inside I looked up to the bleachers searching for his parents who he said would be saving me a seat. I found them in the third row and started to make my way over. Summer and Scott's parents were in the row behind them.

Decker's dad looked over as I walked down the row and smiled waving me over.

"Hi El," he greets scooting over so that I have more room on the bench between myself and the stranger next to me.

"Hi," I smile back at him and his wife.

I feel someone tap my shoulder and I turn around to see Summer's parents smiling at me.

"Hi El," Summer's mom Emily says.

"Hi," I smile back. Why am I so socially awkward?

I turn back towards the pool and see in the corner of the room Scott and the back of Decker's head. They're wearing robes, although I can see that Scott's is left wide open revealing his shredded body and tight speedo. I quickly avert my gaze and look around the rest of the pool. They have these floating dividers in the pool to create lanes and it reminds me of the horrible swim lessons I received at the community pool when I was like six and almost drowned.

I see in my peripheral Decker's parents waving so I turn to see where they are looking. Decker's smile widens when our eyes meet and I can't help but flick my gaze over his exposed body. There's nothing left to the imagination and I feel myself blushing. He winks and I pray to God that his parents don't notice. Someone blows a whistle and it echoes through the building. Decker flashes me one more smile and I mouth good luck, hoping he can read my lips from where he is and he turns to face someone I assume is the coach. I can see two other groups of teenage boys equally as exposed huddled on the opposite side of the gym. 

"I think he'll be in lane three," Decker's dad, Rick says as he leans down to my ear.

I nod and count the lanes in the pool as I wait for the race to start. A few minutes later I see Decker removing his robe and Scott helps him adjust the swim cap that looks like a second skin on his head. He places a pair of goggles over top and adjusts them, scrunching his face up in a really cute way that makes me smile. He takes a stand on this mini diving board in lane three and shakes out his limbs. I watch him do what I'm assuming is like a pre-game ritual where he crosses his arms over his chest and slaps his shoulders, then slips his thighs, and then bends down getting ready to dive into the pool. There is someone with a stopwatch behind each boy in each lane and I can see a couple of his teammates standing behind some of the divers cheering them on. 

A loud buzzer sounds and Decker leaps into the pool. 

He's underwater so long he makes it almost halfway across the pool and I wonder how he can hold his breath for so long when he suddenly comes up and is gliding through the water to the other side. I can see that there are two people in the pool in different lanes that are going almost as fast as he is and I'm anxiously sitting on the edge of my seat as he flips underwater and makes his way back across the pool. I don't know why but when he reaches the other side and pulls his goggles up I take a deep breath. I must have been subconsciously holding my breath. It couldn't have lasted more than two minutes and I saw him grab onto Scott's hand who helped pull him out of the pool. The last person made it to the other side and left the pool and suddenly there was another set of boys lining up on the diving boards getting ready to launch into the pool. I kept my eyes on Decker as Scott wrapped a towel around him and his chest rose and fell heavily. The loud buzzer went off and I found my eyes glued back to the pool.