Fighting the Disquiet

16

"I don't trust anybody. Not anybody. And the more that I care about someone, the more sure I am they're going to get tired of me and take off."
― Rainbow Rowell

The rest of the meal is spent talking about school or how the swim season is looking. I guess they have their first meet in a few weeks. After thanking his parents for the meal we retreat back to the living room to finish the episode that we were watching. It was pretty intense and I wasn't really enjoying having my heart racing so much. Summer grabs the remote and pauses it before the next episode starts.

"Okay, that's enough scary stuff. Can we watch something lighthearted so I don't have nightmares tonight?" she asks with pleading eyes.

"Yes please," I say completely agreeing.

"Sum, we should probably get home. I told mom I'd get some studying done today," Scott says with an apologetic expression.

Summer sighs and nods her head, handing Decker the remote.

"El, you don't have to leave yet if you don't want. I can drop you home," Decker says and I look over at him biting my lip as I decide.

"If you're sure," I say hesitantly.

"Yeah," he smiles, "Here pick something out to watch. I'll go walk them out."

I nod slowly and grab the remote that he is holding out to me.

"Bye guys," I say turning to Summer and Scott, "I'll see you Monday."

"Bye," they say in unison as they follow Decker to the front door.

I turn back to the tv and click back to the Netflix home page. I see his 'Continue Watching' category and notice that he's been watching "The Office". I've already seen every episode but it's an easy and funny show to watch reruns of.

Decker returns to the sofa and sprawls out on the chaise portion.

"So, watcha pick?" he asks.

"How about The Office?" I suggest.

"Yeah, sounds good. Just put on whatever episode you want," he smiles getting comfortable on the sofa.

I put on the one where they have a fire drill but no one knows it's just a drill. I haven't watched that one in a while and it's really hilarious. I notice that he has his feet up on the sofa, so I assume that it's not a rule in his house to keep them off and I bring my legs up onto the sofa so they are bent and leaning against the back of the sofa. I rest my head against the cushions and press play.

I'm enjoying the episode and Decker's laughter, but I'm starting to get sleepy. That's when I remember that I only got a few hours last night. I try to focus on the episode that is playing, but I find myself keeping my eyes closed for longer stretches of time.

There's a heavy weight on my hips and upper thighs and I try to wiggle my body but I can't. I open my eyes groggily, confused as to what is putting so much pressure on my lower body. My vision feels blurry for a moment but a pair of greens eyes are staring down at me just inches away from my face. I want to tell the person to get off of me but I can't find my voice. When the person sits back onto their heels I realize that it's Tanner. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open, but the adrenaline of the compromising situation I've found myself in is starting to wake up my brain. He's taking off his shirt, staring down at me. His eyes wander down my torso before landing back on my own. He licks his lips and is suddenly inches from me again. He crashes his lips against mine and I can taste the alcohol on them. Every cell in my body is screaming but I feel frozen and sluggish. I want to push him away. I want to tell him to get off. But I can't. The weight of his body on top of mine is suffocating and I'm afraid that I will die.