Fighting the Disquiet

20

"Falling for him would be like cliff diving. It would be either the most exhilarating thing that ever happened to me or the stupidest mistake I'd ever made."

- Hussein Nishah

I couldn't stop replaying our kiss in my head. It gave me butterflies and I couldn't wait to see Decker again. I know that probably sounds really lame and cheesy, but it was honestly so amazing. I just want to kiss him forever and be close to him and smell his cologne...Maybe I can actually do this. Maybe I can pretend that the voice in my head isn't there, that I'm a normal seventeen year old and that I deserve to be loved. Maybe.

When Decker texted that he was outside I grabbed my purse and bounded down the stairs with a grin.

"Bye, I'll be back later," I call out to whoever happens to be home. I wouldn't know since I haven't left my room yet today other than to shower.

I can't control my smile as I climb into the passenger seat.

"Hi," I greet taking in his perfect appearance.

"Hi," he smiles. I notice his eyes flick down to my lips and I wonder if he wants to kiss me. "So, frozen yogurt?" I nod, "and then I was thinking we could go back to mine and just hang out. Maybe watch tv or something."

"Sounds good," I smile and put on my seatbelt.

He hands me the cable to connect my phone and I put my saved songs on shuffle. 

"I made you a playlist," I say as we drive out of the residential neighborhood. 

"Really?" he asks glancing at me surprised, "I'm excited to listen to it."

I smile to myself and we sit in a comfortable silence, besides the music that is. As we pull into the parking lot of the frozen yogurt shop I am reminded of the first day we met. I remember how nervous I was and how afraid I was. 

I chuckle to myself and he looks at me squinting his eyes, "What?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking about the last time we were here," I say shaking my head as I unbuckle my seatbelt. 

"What's so funny?" he asks as we climb out of the car.

"Nothing," I say although I'm still chuckling, "I was honestly kind of freaked out."

"What do you mean?" he asks smiling at me.

"Well, I was driving alone with a boy I had just met. And you were being so friendly. I dunno..."I shrug, "I guess it's just a girl thing."

He chuckles and shakes his head, "I was friendly because I thought you were cute and I wanted to get to know you."

"Yeah, well I guess you could say I'm just not used to attention from males," I roll my eyes, opening the door to the shop.

"I find that hard to believe because I noticed you the second I walked into class and saw you sitting there."

I look back at him over my shoulder. I don't believe him so I just roll my eyes again and grab two cups for us. I hand one to him and immediately create my go-to selection of cheesecake with strawberries and cheesecake bites. I watch Decker as he piles some Reece's on top of his chocolate yogurt. He must notice my gaze because he looks up and winks at me. I place mine on the scale and wait from him to finish. He pays and hands me a spoon.